A Chinese Connection
by rewind gone nuts
Summary: 20 sentences, keywords, drabbles, oneshots and other random stuff, all based around one key concept. Ranma and Shampoo as a couple.
1. Chapter 1

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** the dates for this idea were based off the glimpse of a 1994 calendar in the late manga, and the fact the main teens are generally accepted as all being 16 (which means they were born in 1978).

Moving On

The man sat on the bench, watching the world go by and being allowed to do so by the crowd. He was an ordinary looking man, though more than a few women would have called him handsome if they noticed him. He looked somewhere in his mid- to late-twenties, with black hair and bluesteel eyes, and comfortable, casual clothing over a lean, fit frame. He didn't seem to have anything on his mind except just watching the movement of the crowds, and was so engrossed in this mental blankness that he failed to notice a woman detach herself from the crowd and approach him from the side.

"Is this seat taken?" She asked casually, her voice drawing his attention. He looked her up and down, but gave her no visual signal that he recognized her.

"It's a free country." He shrugged, budging over slightly to give her more room.

"Thank you." She replied sincerely, sitting down beside him. For several minutes they sat there in silence- not awkward, as one might expect, but fairly comfortable. Finally, it was the woman who spoke, her words unmistakably tinged with a distinctive accent. "It's been quite some time. You haven't changed much."

"Same goes for you." The man replied. "So what brings you back to Japan, anyway?"

"Believe it or not, business. There are certain items I need to acquire, and the only place to do so is here in Japan. Our meeting like this is just coincidence. A very pleasant one, but coincidence all the same." She answered smoothly.

Silence reigned again in the wake of her words. Finally, it was the man who spoke up. "Why did you leave?" He asked, his question sounding almost… plaintive?

The woman looked at him, surprise evident in her expression, then tilted her head back over the headrest of the bench to stare blankly at the sky. "I guess my great-grandmother finally figured that our fight was a lost one. You and Akane… you still bickered and argued all the time, but you had grown closer; that was obvious, in retrospect. She finally called it off."

"And you just went along with it?" The man asked.

"Hell no. She knocked me out and I didn't regain consciousness until we were already back home. Oh, I fought and screamed and swore and raged worse than the Tendo family combined could have, but my great-grandmother just wouldn't take any nonsense. She said I was to forget all about going back to Japan for you, and she made sure I obeyed, whether I liked it or not. I couldn't believe she was just giving up, at the time."

"Was she giving up? Or was she simply deciding to let time be her ally?" The man asked curiously.

"Probably the latter, I eventually decided. But, at the time, it sure looked like the former." The woman admitted.

They fell into mutual silence at that, before the woman spoke up again. "But, that's enough of that. What happened after we left Japan, anyway? I did hear that you and Akane got married…?"

"Yeah, we did… by the way, was that you who sent me that cask of Nanniichuan?" the man asked suspiciously.

"That was great-grandmother's idea. She thought it an appropriate gift for such an inspired student and worthy opponent, as well as a way to reassure you that we weren't going to come back for revenge." The woman replied. "So… how did everyone else take it?"

"Ryoga went ballistic, of course, and the Kunos weren't much better. Of course, Ryoga stopped being a threat after Akane found out his dirty little secret…"

"You mean… you…?"

"Not me. The old men. Ryoga comes busting in, roaring his head off, and starts charging for the altar. I'm getting away from Akane so she's safe, then pop and Mr. Tendo come out of nowhere and splash Ryoga, turning him into a piglet in mid-charge… and right in front of Akane. She went ballistic over how he'd betrayed her trust, manipulated her and abused the faith she had in him. Sent him flying into the horizon, further than I'd ever seen anyone go before. Didn't come back for over a year. I'll say one thing for him; at least he learned from his mistake. He didn't blame me for it, though we never did lose the rivalry thing. Hell, we're about the closest thing we have to best friends because of it."

"And Ukyo?"

"She was hurt. Real hurt. Left town because of it, and I haven't seen her since. I do get the occasional letter, though. Last one I got was about her rescuing this abused transvestite ninja."

The woman blinked in surprise. "She always did run with the weird crowd, didn't she?"

"Like any of us are ones to talk. What about you and Mousse?"

"Mousse got married." The woman replied casually. Her companion turned to her with surprised eyes and she hastened to add, "Not to me. About a year or two after we came home, this girl who'd always had a crush on him challenged him to a marriage match and beat him. Law is law and they've been wed ever since. Oh, he fought against it, at first, but he caved… actually a lot quicker than you might have thought. I guess finally being on the receiving end of affection was just so addicting to him he ended up hooked against his will."

"Did you have anything to do with him losing?" The man asked, a mischievous glint in his eye and an amused smile on his lips.

"I may have taught her a few tricks…" The woman admitted, mirroring the man's expression. "They have six kids now. What about you and Akane…? Did you…?"

"Never." The man admitted sadly. "We actually went to a doctor to check it out; we thought it might have been my fault, a last laugh from Jusenkyo. Turned out she was the one with fertility issues."

"I'm so sorry…" The woman said softly.

"I admit it probably didn't help that we didn't really… y'know… much. She was still about as bad-tempered and suspicious as she'd always been, so we tended to fight a lot. I don't think she ever really got over that whole 'pervert phobia' of hers, and her being angry and nervous meant I wasn't exactly eager to go to bed when she did finally feel in the mood." The man continued.

"I thought you two were in love?" The woman asked softly.

"We thought we were." He said, simply. "Maybe we weren't. Maybe it just wasn't enough, I don't know. In the end, it was duty more than anything that kept us together. She focused on her friends and her work and generally found reasons not to be around the house- there were even folks who claimed she was cheating on me, sometimes with other women, but I never believed them. That wasn't something Akane would do. As for me, I just threw myself into training as much as I could; with everyone else gone, the best challenges I usually got were Ryoga, and you know what he's like. With students only interested in learning the basics, and even having to tone those down so as to not scare off the hobbyists who made up the majority of them, I was terrified of losing my edge. I left on training journeys whenever I could get away with it- I had spent my whole childhood aiming to become the best martial artist I could, I couldn't simply throw that dream away."

He sighed loudly, plaintively, and silence fell once more. Time ticked by as they sat side by side, lost in thought. Then, finally, the woman spoke. "I never forgot about you, you know. Never married. I always had this dream that, one day, somehow, we'd be together."

"So that was your plan all along, was it? Just sit back and let time eliminate the obstacles that you couldn't touch on your own?" He asked, his voice bearing a touch of bitterness, a trace of resentment.

"Great-grandmother's plan, maybe, but never mine." She answered, shaking her head and the long lavender hair cascading over her shoulders. "I never would have left you to such a painful lesson."

"Painful it was, and your great-grandmother's plan worked. We… separated… over a decade ago." He admitted. "I… won't deny that I'm happy to see you. I think I'm tired of being alone. So, what happens now? A marriage challenge?"

"In my youth, maybe. But I'd like to think that with a little age comes a little wisdom." She said.

"And with a lot of age comes a lot of wisdom." He deadpanned.

"Maybe so. We have time, and we need to catch up better anyway. Will you have lunch with me?" She stood up, brushed herself off, and smiled at him, extending a hand.

He looked her over, gave her a soft smile, and reached out and allowed her to help him up. "I think I'd like that." He said, and the two began to walk away.

Around them, the crowd moved on, heedless, caught up in the daily minutia of life in Nerima, in the year 2078.

_An unusual piece of work, even by my standards. I don't really know where this scenario came from, but people commented that the basic idea was unique, so I tried my hand at it. I did this on my own, so that's probably why it's so weak- I feel I work much better when I have somebody to bounce material off of. Anyway, I hope people like this and there will be more for this and its counterpart "Childhood Loyalties". I certainly don't have any shortage of fuel to burn. The precise basis for this idea stemmed from the fact that we're shown it takes some time for master martial artists to show aging in the Ranma universe. Need proof? The monk in the Hiryu Shoten Ha story arc shows a hundred-year-old picture of Happosai, who looks distinctly middle-aged, and we know Happosai to be a contemporary of the 300-year-old Cologne. Hell, if you believe "Case of the Missing Takoyaki", he's actually 450 years old._


	2. Chapter 2: Dancing

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** a rather esoteric piece, I admit, but the last one went down well enough. Expect a new chapter for Childhood Loyalties soon as well.

Dancing

They have no audience, but they do not need one. Their dance floor is but the soil of a forest glade, and that is all they require. The only music to be heard is that within their own heads, but that is more than sufficient for them. Proudly they stride across the earth towards each other, as regal as if they performed before others. They bow from the waist, ritual old as the mountains, deep as the seas, and take their respective positions. All is silent, until at last the cry of a bird breaks the stillness and the dance begins.

It is she who leads them, and he seems quite content to let her do so. Her blows flow with obvious strength, but they are smooth and measured, possessed of the precision and control that speaks of countless hours of practice, the ease with which they come speaking of natural talent. Punches straight and curving from various angles, scything kicks, spearhand jabs, knifehand chops, her arsenal of unarmed attacks seem almost limitless. Sometimes, her blows pierce his defenses, not hard enough to hurt, for she has too much control for that, but they form an encouragement that spurs her on.

As easily as she attacks, he defends. Some blows he allows to sail past him, harmlessly whistling mere centimeters from his flesh- these are fewer than there once were. Others he must take a hand in to render harmless. Some he catches with hand or fist or arm- she uses these to relaunch her assault, striking fresh blows with greater speed thanks to the reaction of their impact. Others he knocks aside with arm and leg. Sometimes he stabs out in his own strike, pulling his strength at the last moment, but still piercing through the chinks in her defense like a dagger. Sometimes, however, he does not succeed- she dodges, or catches his blow, or even deflects it, and he could not feel prouder.

To see them dance, one might think they had choreographed this performance, practicing and drilling until every step become rote and as close to them as their next heartbeat. But that would be a lie. The moves flow from within them, instinctual, unpredictable; they are helpless but to dance to the music of their souls.

As fast and as furious as the blows come, one might expect deep rage or hate to be engraven on their hearts, that it is pure hostility that drives them on. But it is not so; their hearts are carefree and light, their smiles aglow with the pleasure of their deeds and the joy of each other's' company. They dance because it brings them happiness, and happiness drives them to dance.

This is not the first time they have danced, nor will it be the last. They have danced with others before, and will do so again. But this dance is special. For this dance is one that can be danced by the two of them alone, and no one may ever take this from them.


	3. Chapter 3: A New Generation

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** to those who pointed out the last chapter was pretty corny; I know and admit it, but they can't all be gems.  
Aondefhaka; I can honestly say I'd never thought about that possibility until you mentioned it, but now you have, I must say that I like it!

A New Generation

"Are you alright, airen?" Shampoo asked, seeing the rather dazed look on her husband's face and the somewhat dreamy way in which he was going about his activities.

"I… don't know." Ranma admitted. "I guess I'm just sort of overwhelmed. It's hard to believe our kids are grown up enough to go on a training journey of their own, now…"

"I know what you mean." Shampoo replied, starting to look a little dreamy herself. "It feels like it was only last week that they were running off behind our backs and getting into mischief."

"It was last week." Ranma pointed out. "Remember? They sneaked off from their chores and picked a fight with that so-called 'gang' that Cayenne runs."

"Oh yeah, now I remember." Shampoo said. "Still, at least they won."

Ranma nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that is the important thing." He added, completely sincere. Then he sighed. "Still, the house is gonna feel awfully empty with them away… and why did they decide on traveling to Japan, anyway?"

"You were the one who mentioned the possibility, and you can't blame them for wanting to discover the other side of their heritage. If they run into any booby traps left behind by that fat fool or the old lecher, though, there's going to be hell to pay." Shampoo stated.

"Only if you beat me to them." Ranma scowled; it was bad enough what his father and Happosai had done to him when he was in Nerima, he would not let that sort of crap fall on his own children.

Shampoo made a gesture of acknowledgement, and then got back to the topic at hand. "But you can't deny it won't feel at least a little good to have them out from under our feet- raising triplets wasn't exactly easy."

"You're telling me?" Ranma asked rhetorically. "That's why we decided to not have any more until after they were grown enough to take care of themselves. But, still, I… I don't know, I'm just concerned about them going off on their own like this…"

"They won't be alone, airen. They'll have each other to back them up, and while they fight like all siblings do, they do love each other- they'll take care of themselves." Shampoo pointed out.

"I know that. I don't know why I'm worried in the first place." Ranma admitted.

"Because you're their father, you love them, and you want to keep them safe. There's nothing wrong with that, it means you're a good father, but that's part of why you have to let them go now. They need to learn to stand on their own feet and fight their own problems, and that's what this journey of theirs is really all about."

Ranma said nothing, simply letting that sink in. Then, he changed the topic. "By the way, where are the kids anyway?"

"Out in the woods, practicing those new special attacks they've been developing." Shampoo replied, looking somewhat distracted at that statement.

"You don't approve?" Ranma asked.

"It's not that, it's just… well… I wonder if maybe we're pushing them too hard sometimes, that's all." Shampoo admitted.

"Us? Pushing them? Not at all." Ranma stated confidently. "We've never tried to dictate how they'll live their lives- they took to martial arts of their own free will."

"Or was it because they felt the need to live up to our reputation?" Shampoo asked.

"…You're thinking about little Manami again, aren't you?" Ranma said, the question more of a statement than anything. When his wife nodded his head, he shook his own in a rather amused fashion. "You worry too much about that girl, you know? She's not the frail, docile little innocent you seem to think she is. Believe me, she can hold her own against anything and anyone, when she feels inclined to do so."

"It's not that!" Shampoo protested, then wilted somewhat at her husband's skeptical look. "Well, alright, it's not entirely that… it's just… why would they be trying to make their own techniques, something that most martial artists don't think of until after they've considered themselves masters, unless they feel the need to live up to our reputation?"

"But they aren't most martial artists." Ranma pointed out. "They're our children. They're talented, skilled, proud, and stubborn as all hell. Just like us."

"Who are you calling stubborn?" Shampoo asked, in mock outrage.

"I recall a certain bluenette chasing me all the way from here to Japan…" Ranma began, a mocking grin spreading across his face. "And then there was what happened in Japan…" He started to go on, then ducked a purposefully slow backhand from his wife, the mood very much improved.

Meanwhile, in the woodlands outside of the Joketsuzoku village, a girl stood in a valley she and her siblings had more or less claimed as their personal training ground, inhaling and exhaling in a repetitive pattern as she stared at the training dummy before her. Her jiujiebian, the nine-linked chain whip, at her side clinked gently, before her wrist flicked and it began to whirl into life. Around her limbs it danced and slashed, a breathtaking display of skill, growing faster and faster until she judged herself ready to strike.

"Splitting Strike!" She called, as what looked like a dozen chains suddenly exploded forth and wrapped themselves around the target's limbs, neck, torso and legs, ripping it clean out of the ground and pulling it to her feet. At that, most of the chains faded away, revealing them to be illusions- only one chain was the real thing. Manami Saotome smiled and untangled her weapon from the training dummy, then stiffened at the sound of mocking clapping from behind her.

"So that's your 'special attack'? A cheap knockoff of the Splitting Cat Hairs? Couldn't you even think of a name to disguise that fact?"

"Cherry." Manami said, her tone neutral, but her eyes aglitter with a fire that would be quite familiar to anyone who knew either of her parents. Anyone who saw the two sisters standing together would have made the assumption that the shorter, less developed Manami was the younger, and that it was Cherry who was the elder sister. Not only was that impossible, with the two being triplets, but it was actually Manami who had been born first. She was simply rather shorthanded in the height department, which she could live with, and turning out to be a rather slow bloomer in the chest department, which bothered her, seeing as how her mother and sister were both quite generously equipped in that regard. She flicked a lock of her purple hair and unflinchingly met Cherry's red eyes (just like their mother's) with her own purple ones.

"Is that all you think my technique is? A cheap imitation? I'll have you know it took quite a bit of work learning how to channel the ki along my weapon, instead of through my body. I worked hard to put it together. So what do you have to show for your efforts, hmm?"

Cherry simply smirked, taking a dramatic posture (a bad habit of hers, as far as their parents were concerned) to allow the breeze to romantically flare the black/red hair that had inspired her name… at least, that was the reason she claimed was behind her name. The truth was that one of her parents had commented that her hair was the same hue as a ripe black cherry, and in the confusion of the birth, that had been taken as her name- and changing it afterwards would have been such a hassle that she'd been left with it.

"How about I demonstrate on you? Come at me, if you dare…" She teased.

Manami didn't hesitate in the slightest; it was true that she was a quiet and generally pleasant girl, but she was both a Saotome and a Chinese Amazon and so she had a fighter's instinct. Her jiujie bian lashed out at her little sister, but just as it was about to wrap around Cherry's neck, the girl suddenly vanished. A split second later, she reappeared behind Manami's back.

"Flash Step!" She howled triumphantly, one spear-hand already plunging towards the knock-out pressure point on her sister's neck. Unfortunately, she had forgotten something crucial. One of the reasons why the jiujiebian was so dangerous in the hands of an expert was its incredible flexibility and capacity to attack in any direction. And Manami was an expert, having trained with her chosen weapon since she was old enough to carry it. The metal lash whipped around Manami's side, coiled around Cherry's wrist and pulled it off-course- and as she was tugged into range, Manami's elbow shot back and drove painfully into Cherry's solar plexus, knocking her to the ground and driving the wind out of her lungs. The youngest of the Saotome triplets coughed and wheezed, then looked up to see her sister standing over her and smirking.

"Is that all you have? I'll admit it's impressive that you not only managed to revise the Amaguriken training, but mix it with that 'Extradimensional Warp' move father told us about, but it's clearly got some room for improvement. You were noticeably slower when you tried to hit me just then." Manami commented.

"A move like that burns up massive amounts of energy. I don't think she could keep fighting for long after using it- if she misses, I'd say she's lost the fight for sure. Hell, I don't think she can pull it off more than once a day at her present level." Came a calm voice. Both girls looked over to see their brother, watching their antics and smiling.

"And what do you know, Lotion?" Cherry grumbled bitterly.

"So how's your move coming, brother Toshio?" Manami asked, using their sibling's Japanese name (apparently for the sake of preventing an argument, Ranma and Shampoo had given their only son both a Joketsuzoku name and a Japanese name after he was born). "The 'Roar of the Earth Dragon'?" She added for emphasis, ignoring Cherry's sulking comment about stupid, flashy names.

"It works, but not very well." Toshio said, taking Cherry's bitterness in stride. "It's still only in development, though, just like me, so it's only to be expected. It's slow and limited range for now, but I'm sure that'll improve with practice."

"Care to give us a demonstration, hot shot?" Cherry sneered.

Blue-steel eyes glinted beneath a fringe of dark green hair, and Toshio smiled in a very sinister way. "Alright, if you insist, sister." With that, he turned to face a relatively isolated tree, pulling his weapon from his shoulder and raising it into the air over his head, the blade pointing backwards as if he was in preparation to make a vertical chop. Toshio had, to all appearances, received a double inheritance of strength from their parents, and was without a doubt the strongest of them all. As a result, he had taken to the usage of a zhanmadao; a Chinese greatsword normally intended to be used against cavalry.

Toshio inhaled and began to focus, his battle aura visibly springing to life, slowly winding its way along the edge of his sword. Suddenly, his eyes shot open and he brought the blade down in a mighty swing, causing the earth to explode in a shower of dust and flying stones, ripping a sizeable gouge that stretched from him to the tree, which had not only been knocked askance but suffered terrible rips and gouges in its truck, apparently from a mixture of the concussive force and the attendant shrapnel.

Manami looked at the devastation her brother had unleashed, then at her weapon, and visibly wilted, something that Toshio was quick to notice.

"Now, don't be like that." He cautioned her. "Yes, the Roar of the Earth Dragon is flashy, but your move is a lot more versatile and a lot easier to pull off. My move mightn't have any practical applications at all- can you imagine me actually being able to use something like that on a living target?"

Manami looked happier at that, prompting Cherry to scoff. "You coddle her too much, brother. If she doesn't have the stomach to be a Warrior, maybe she should be a farmer instead."

"I'm just as good as you are, sister!" She protested.

"You might have skill, but you lack confidence." Cherry retorted.

"Confidence? Is that what you call it? It looks more like being full of yourself to me." Manami snapped.

Toshio sighed and slapped a palm against his head as his sisters started arguing. "Now I'm really starting to wonder if going to Japan's such a good idea. How am I supposed to keep these two from killing each other?" He mused.

Seeing that the two girls were now rolling on the ground like a couple of animals, he sighed and went to break them up.

An hour or so later…

"Mom, dad, we're home." Came a voice, followed closely by their daughter, Cherry Saotome. The dirty Chinese/Japanese girl walked right through the room and headed for the kitchen with barely a glance at her parents.

"What's her problem?" Ranma asked, recognizing his daughter in one of her bad moods.

"She's just ticked off that Manami's jiujiebian made a fool out of her new Flash Step technique, that's all. So, what's up?" Their son asked.

"She got lucky, that's all!" Cherry complained from the kitchen.

Both Ranma and Shampoo smiled; yes, that was their daughter.

"Just because you're taller and have a little more on your chest doesn't make you better, sis." Manami mocked.

"If you couldn't flick that stupid weapon of yours in every direction, you'd have lost to me, and that's no lie." Cherry snapped, coming out of the kitchen.

"Oh, you wanna try me again, is that it?" Manami mocked.

"Right here, right now!" Cherry replied.

The two escapees from Nerima shook their heads with parental patience as their daughters began a bare-knuckled brawl right there in the living room, up until their son grabbed them and literally banged their heads together to take the fight out of them. "Maybe it won't be such a bad thing, this training journey." Ranma mused.

Shampoo nodded her head in agreement. "Yes, I think they might need some hard lessons in teamwork."

"That as well. You three will be fixing everything you just broke before you take so much as one step outside this house, you do know that, don't you?"

"Yes dad." The triplets chorused mechanically. Their parents shared a Look; maybe they didn't have to worry about what might happen to them if they went to Nerima. Maybe they should be worrying about what would happen to Nerima after they arrived.

_I admit, this was a rather strange one. No idea where it came from, or why I decided to write it. Sometimes, you just go with the flow, though I hope it wasn't too distasteful. For those curious about Toshio's hair and eye color, it's actually the same color scheme that the anime was originally going to give Shampoo: dark green hair and light blue eyes. Don't believe me? Check out the season one opening theme; Shampoo appears in a few screens with that setup. I don't know why they changed to blue hair and red eyes when they finally animated her. Also, before anyone brings it up, I actually wasn't aware that "Roar of the Earth Dragon" resembled Inuyasha's Wind Scar until I'd actually written it- the original inspiration was one part the Bakusai Tenketsu to one part Happosai's "battle aura blast" move._


	4. Chapter 4: Rendezvous

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** before anyone points out/complains about me using the same 'prompt' for both anthologies, I freely admit that coming up with distinct, individual prompts for each one all the time is beyond the grasp of a hack writer such as myself. There will be others, but rest assured that I will strive to make each anthology's 'interpretation' of that prompt distinctive.

On a similar topic, I do have another two 'prompts' for both this anthology and its counterpart; "Old Souls" and "Future Echoes", each revolving around the key of a past/future incarnation respectively of the focus couple. I have two questions for you readers:  
Should I make "Old Souls" and "Future Echoes" two parts of the same chapter, or two separate chapters?  
Which Future Echoes should I assign to which couple? So far, I can see a vaguely Robotech-inspired Space Opera type setting, and a Post-Arcane Apocalypse type setting- I'm just not sure which of them should be the "fate" of Ranma/Shampoo or Ranma/Ukyo. Or even if I should use a different pair of 'futures' altogether.

Rendezvous

It was a fairly average, boring day in Nerima- even Ranma and Akane's argument was just over one of the usual topics, though neither of them could precisely recall what it was that had set them to bickering this time. Finally, Ranma threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Fine! If that's the way you want it, I'll leave!" He snapped, turning towards the door.

"Then get lost!" Akane screamed, further expressing her rage with a powerful kick that sent Ranma flying out of the door and into the horizon.

"Woah, she was mad." Ranma commented to himself as he hurtled through the air. This might have seemed redundant, but the truth of the matter was that Akane reached this particular level of anger quite a lot less often than people tended to think. Beating him, with fist or convenient object, yes, that happened a lot, but it was quite rare for Akane to give him a trip into Lower Earth Orbit. Usually, that tended to be due to Happosai. Still, while Ranma hadn't picked a fight on purpose, he wasn't entirely unhappy with this turn of events- now he had the perfect excuse for being out of the house, if someone caught him. Oh, and it looked like he'd be landing quite close to his first stop as well- that was convenient. If rather painful…

After prying himself loose of the crater he left in the concrete, he headed into an abandoned, derelict building that he knew was scheduled for demolition, but which fortunately hadn't fallen to either official construction crews or the antics of one of the more destructive martial artists passing through. In a relatively intact chamber, he eyed himself in the fair-sized piece of broken glass that served as a makeshift mirror, while going over the small selection of clothes he'd secreted here just for this sort of situation, finally settling on the blue-green uniform he'd worn when he'd tried to flirt with Tsubasa. He greatly preferred wearing his Chinese ensemble because it was loose, comfortable, and, most importantly, unisex- either form could wear it without looking so much as stupid, never mind like some sort of pervert. In fact, most people probably didn't know that Ranma even had different sorts of clothing, which was one of the reasons why he had kept this here in secret.

Truth be told, Ranma was feeling a bit nervous about this. Much as he didn't like his curse, he had to admit that he'd gotten into the habit of turning to it when he needed a disguise- he almost never tried to disguise himself as someone else when in male form. But he didn't particularly want to be a girl for this outing, and besides which, he reasoned, the fact he was known to use his female form as the basis for his disguises meant that anyone he knew wouldn't be expecting him to pretend to be someone else while still being the same sex. His morale restored, Ranma looked himself over in the 'mirror'; he didn't look half-bad, if he said so himself, and between the style of his clothing and the brimmed hat obscuring his face, he ought to pass casual glances without being recognized. And then his eyes caught the pigtail; now, that was a giveaway- Ranma had kept wearing that even after the Dragon's Whisker had finally worn off. Of course, that meant he could change it, and become less recognizable.

With an almost disappointingly easy flick of the fingers, the string holding it into his practically trademark hairstyle unraveled and his hair spilled out loose. Ranma frowned at his reflection as it did; he'd been forced to pick up a decent semblance of a fashion sense, particularly after getting his curse, and among other things that meant he could realize that his hair was just unsuited for most styles. Finally, muttering to himself, he ended up settling for placing it back in his pre-Dragon's Whisker ponytail, hoping that it would be distinct enough to avoid blowing his cover- after all, the only people in Nerima who had seen him with that style were his father and Shampoo. Satisfied that he had disguised himself as best he could without actually wearing a mask, Ranma turned and left; he had an appointment.

About ten minutes later, while waiting at the specified spot, he amused himself by wondering how she was going to disguise herself. Her clothing was exotic, her hairstyle unique, and as for her hair color… how was she going to cover that up? A wig, maybe? Ranma had a few he'd used in the past, but she'd rejected his offer. Dye? No, that was permanent, and even beyond the pride she took in her hair, there was the fact it would just raise more questions if she was seen afterwards with a radically different hair color. In fact, he was so busy wondering how she would disguise herself that he failed to notice her approach until she was standing right behind him.

"Nihao, Ranma."

"Hey there…" Ranma began, then his voice died in surprise as his eyes met light blue eyes, not too dissimilar from his own, and he looked past them to flowing dark green hair. He was so surprised he didn't even take notice of her outfit, though the girl in question was too amused to be bothered by this (not to mention that she cared a lot less about such things than the average girl).

"You like?" She teased.

"How…?" Was all Ranma could say.

"Did you really think all of the magic items we had were major league?" She teased. Shortly after they'd first started meeting like this, she'd revealed to him that she could speak Japanese much better then she normally did- she kept her 'broken talk' up as a kind of mask against her enemies; she sounded stupid, so people thought of her as stupid, and being underestimated was quite a weapon. It also meant that people would be much harder pressed to realize her true identity if they eavesdropped on her and Ranma. She flourished her right hand, revealing a small ring on her pinky finger.

Ranma focused on that, then grinned and shook his head. "You're always full of surprises, Neko-chan." The nickname was another layer to their cover, though both of them considered it rather amusing.

"And you love it." She grinned back. She then held her arm out in invitation. "Shall we go?"

He accepted her invitation without a single word and the two walked away towards the shopping. They knew that this couldn't last forever, their new ties would be discovered eventually, but they thrust such thoughts away, preferring to revel in the moment and believe that they could find a way to extract themselves from the tangle of conflicting emotional bonds that was Nerima.

_…No, I don't really have a clue where my train of thought comes from or goes at times. I mentioned this in the last chapter's end notes, but I'll repeat it here, for those of you who missed it: the dark green hair and light blue eyes look is what was originally planned for Shampoo's animated adaptation. I don't know why they went for blue (purple, in some episodes/OAVs) hair and red eyes, but I think both color schemes are good on her._


	5. Chapter 5: Intimacy

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** biftec1523; despite fanon to the contrary, Ranma is actually quite capable of dealing with cats in the **abstract**- it's when they become **physical** that the Nekoken causes his brain to short circuit and pool in his boots. However, "Neko-chan" is –as you pointed out- a rather unlikely nickname for him to use, hence the reason **why** he used it; similarly to the 'disguising himself as a male' trick, none of his main acquaintances would think him capable of using such a trick, and so would not think to take any notice if they overheard him using it. I believe the technical term is a double-bluff.  
What brought this batch on? Do they actually fit the titular theme? I honestly have no idea. Though I wonder if anyone's even bothering to read this… ah well, at least I'm keeping my hand in.

Intimacy

_Between Tangled Sheets  
_The room is cool, dark and silent, save for the sound of their breathing; almost, but not quite, in unison. Blinking in the gloom, eyes quickly adjusting, he pushes himself upright with his arms, the sheets gently shuffling as he repositions himself. Looking down at his side, seeing her curled against him, he smiles. With a gentle touch he brushes a lock of hair from her cheek, then settles back down to return to sleep.  
XXX

_Trust_  
She holds a blade to his throat, razored steel pressed to naked flesh, too firmly to push away, too gentle to draw blood. She does not speak, does not move, merely stares into his eyes. There is no fear there, no anxiety, no desperation. Instead, if anything, there is a hint of question, as if his gaze asks her "now that we are here, where do we go?". Long seconds creep by as she allows that query to sink into the cracks of her soul. Then she takes the blade away, and they stand up.  
XXX

_Support_  
His flesh cries out, bruised, split, wounds like tiny mouths to voice its protest, blood flowing like tears, cracked bones and twisted joints adding their own voices to the chorus. But he will not allow any hint of suffering to pass his grimy lips; will not mar the triumph over his foes by giving any sign of the price he paid. As silent as he himself is, she stands at his side, not berating him for his pride nor outraged by his silence, calmly taking his weight across her shoulders and helping him away from the field of battle, making no secret of her pride in him.  
XXX

_Sorrow_  
He has seen her cry but once before, seen the tears glitter on her cheeks like perverse jewels, heard her choking the sobs before they can escape her gentle throat, and finds that it hits him all the worse that she weeps now. He does not speak, cannot speak, instead offering her his arm and his shoulder, offering what meager comfort she might find from his presence. She pushes herself into the contours of his body, buries her face in his shirt, and he twines his arms about her, presses his head against hers. Together, they sit, together, they mourn.  
XXX

_Joy_  
She watches him leap and dance amongst the branches, and the dying leaves. Sees him bound from perch to perch, twisting and twirling through the air as though trying to shrug off the bounds of gravity and soar like a bird. She pays closest attention to his smile, revels in the sound of his laughter, and cannot bring herself to disagree with the voice from within that calls it a shame that he does not normally act so carefree, that decrees it a crime that he normally seems so wary and cautious, as though ever expecting a vocal whip, or a cruel blow from any corner.  
XXX


	6. Chapter 6: Musical

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form. "#1 Crush" is copyright to the band "Garbage"._

**Author's Notes:** this is an unusual piece even by my standards, so you're probably wondering where it came from. Well, I make no bones of the fact that I'm most inclined towards Shampoo out of Ranma's various canonical love interests; the Chinese Amazon has always struck me as my favorite fiancée for Ranma, and I've always considered her the most compatible match for him. And no, this isn't bias due to liking Lum from Urusei Yatsura- in fact, it's only recently that I've begun to watch Ataru and his misadventures with the obnoxious aliens, due to finding a channel for it on Youtube and deciding that I can live with subbing only. Anyway, a couple of years back, I stumbled across an AMV; Ranma/Shampoo, set to the song "#1 Crush". Though it's sadly gone now, I really felt the song worked for Shampoo, and so I finally decided to make my own little homage to it. Special thanks go out to Biftec1523, without whose advice this would be even more incomprehensible than it already is.

Musical

Shampoo smiled her most winning smile, unconsciously pushing out her chest as she did so (and yes, it **was** an unconscious gesture on her part- she knew damn well that Ranma wasn't the sort to be swayed by a full bosom), and veiled her eyelids to emphasize her seductive tone. "Ranma, Shampoo get free tickets to amusement park… Ranma come with Shampoo?" She asked, trying her hardest to not sound like she was pleading.

Ranma looked at her, then looked at the tickets, and Shampoo felt a cheer building in her throat when she realized the genuine want in his eyes. "Well… I guess I could…" Ranma began.

"Ranma!" Barked an angry feminine voice, startling both of them and drawing their attention to the obvious source; Akane Tendo. "We've got somewhere to be, in case you've forgotten!" She snapped, before spinning on her heel and starting off angrily.

"Akane, wait up!" Ranma promptly called, chasing off after her, much to Shampoo's dismay.

"Ranma! Wait, Ranma!" She called, but to no avail as the pigtailed Japanese boy twisted around a corner and was lost to her vision, leaving her staring after him, her heart twisting painfully in her chest. As if the universe ran on such promptings, the sky grew dark with ominous clouds, thunder boomed, and icy rain began pelting down around her. Shampoo paid it no mind, instead sniffling in dismay and wiping at her teary eyes. "Why, Ranma? Why do you always do this?" She wept. "Don't you know how I feel for you, what I would do for you?" As the rain poured down, and her heart felt like it was ready to crack, music began to swell from out of the very air itself, and Shampoo couldn't resist the feelings within herself any more.

"I would die for you." She began, beginning to walk through the drenched, dreary streets. The lyrics welling within her, she continued. "I would die for you, I've been dying just to feel you by my side… To know that you're mine." She sang, pausing in front of a cloudy store window, in which was reflected a translucent image of herself and Ranma, standing side by side. She reached out with a hand and traced it down the glass, causing the reflection to ripple and then fade like water disturbed. At that, she turned and headed elsewhere, picking a direction at random.

"I will cry for you, I will cry for you, I will wash away your pain with all my tears… And drown your fear." She sang sadly, taking momentary shelter beneath a statue on a plinth… a statue that depicted her as a catgirl, giving a comforting embrace to a shivering Ranma. She took several deep breaths, then resumed walking.

"I will pray for you, I will pray for you, I will sell my soul for something pure and true… Someone like you." She kept walking as the words poured out of her, ignorant of the fact she had just passed by a small shrine hosting praying statuettes… each and every one of which looked just like her.

"See your face every place that I walk in…" She walked through a crowd of ghostly figures, none of whom paid her any attention, and all of whom bore a startling resemblance to either of Ranma's two forms.

"Hear your voice every time that I'm talking…" She passed by a shop displaying televisions, all switched onto the same channel, all displaying Ranma talking.

"You will believe in me… And I will never be ignored…" She vowed emphatically. Looking up at the sound of a clap of thunder, she could have sworn she saw Ranma hurrying through the downpour… escorting Akane under an umbrella. Shampoo's heart gave another painful wrench.

"I will burn for you, Feel pain for you, I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart… And tear it apart." Shampoo sang, clawing emphatically at her arms with her fingers.

"I will lie for you, Beg and steal for you, I will crawl on hands and knees until you see… You're just like me." By this line, Shampoo had started walking, passing into a grimy alley adorned with graffiti that blatantly referred to Ranma and his darker side.

"Violate all the love that I'm missing…" She walked blindly over scattered Valentine's Day paraphernalia, absently crushing discarded chocolates, dethorned roses and cardboard hearts underfoot. "Throw away all the pain that I'm living…" She continued, coming to a halt beneath a defiled bridge.

"You will believe in me… And I can never be ignored." She sang, and as she said those words again, her surroundings seemed to melt away into mist and darkness.

"I would die for you…"  
Shampoo's sword was in her hands, and she was raising it without hesitation to her throat, the razor edge biting into her naked flesh…

"I would kill for you…"  
Shampoo was kneeling before Ranma, the object of her desires seated on a throne, the severed heads of both her rivals and his, as well as those who were just annoyances in Ranma's life –such as his father, Nabiki Tendo, and Principal Kuno- arranged before her in offering…

"I will steal for you…"  
She was hanging upside down above a chest filled with scrolls, beams of light forming a complex web around them like something out of a spy movie, her hand reaching down to pluck the first scroll…

"I'd do time for you…"  
She was bound hand and foot with chains, locked away in darkness while vaguely human shapes patrolled routinely outside…

"I will wait for you…"  
She was seated in an empty living room, a clock ticking solemnly across from where she sat…

"I'd make room for you…"  
She and Ranma were in a crowded train car, sitting next to each other and totally blind to the crushing press of humanity around them…

"I'd sail ships for you…"  
She was at the helm of a small junk, steering it towards a rocky atoll upon which Ranma was thrashing against binding chains, something large and distinctly unpleasant looking thrashing around in the water nearby…

"To be close to you…"  
She and Ranma were standing in front of each other, looking into each other's eyes…

"To be part of you…"  
They were kissing, pulling at each other's clothes...

"Cause I believe in you…"  
She was on her own, but there was Ranma, standing at the end of the mist-veiled street…

"I believe in you…"  
He said not a word, but withdrew into the gloom…

"I would die for you…"  
Shampoo's gaze was drawn irresistibly to her sword. It gleamed blindingly, and then darkness swallowed her…

XXX

Shampoo's eyes sprung open, then almost instantly screwed themselves shut at the pain as the light stabbed into her brain like burning daggers. From within the agonized, sparking darkness, she heard Ranma's voice.

"Alright, you're awake."

"Ranma…? What…?" She began, only to lose her voice as her stomach provided noises and sensations that were indescribably unpleasant, prompting her to shoot up from the floor (not a smart move, as it just made her feel worse) and grab a pot helpfully proffered by Ranma. Though nothing came out except a long, sonorous belch, it hurt just as bad (if not worse) than actually vomiting would have. Blinking her eyes to clear the tears out of them, somewhat surprised that the steel wasn't starting to dissolve, she finally turned her head to stare at a concerned-looking Ranma.

"What just happen to Shampoo?" She asked, once her throat stopping feeling quite like someone had force-fed her raw chili peppers after she'd screamed herself hoarse.

"Mousse got into the old ghoul's private stocks and decided he'd cook up some sort of 'love potion'- mixed up some kinda spiked bento and pretended it was a gift from me. I just dropped around to get something when you finished eating. You pretty much collapsed straight away." Ranma replied. There was a strange hesitance when he declared that final sentence, but Shampoo was in no particular mood to notice or care. "You feel alright?"

"Shampoo (she stifled another belch) think so. Still feel sort of queasy, but other than that, no different from normal self. Have weirdest dream, though…."

"That's not surprising. I've had nightmares after eating Akane's cooking, and she doesn't even use magic. Come on, I'll get ya to yer room…" Ranma said, gently helping the still-groggy Chinese girl to her feet and leading her towards the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7: Paternity

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** originally, this oneshot was going to basically be the equivalent of "Maternity", from Childhood Loyalties, told through Ranma's Point of View. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I realized that would be cheap and it finally evolved into its present format, for better or worse.

If folks feel so inclined, I'm interested if anyone has any prompts they want to throw my way and see what I can write based on them for this anthology.

Paternity

Ranma twisted the very minimum needed to let the punch whistle harmlessly past, deflected a spin-kick with a wave of his forearm, hopped casually over his opponent's head, and then thrust out his arm, punching through an obvious hole in their defense with sufficient force to send his opponent sprawling on the ground. He made no effort to capitalize on this, instead simply standing there, stance loose and ready, and clicked his tongue in good-natured mockery.

"I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times now; you need to work on that reaction time, Cayenne."

His 'sparring opponent', his ten-year-old son, rubbed his head and grinned ruefully, an expression that reminded Ranma of both himself and his wife, before Cayenne pushed himself to his feet. To Ranma's pride, he didn't stop to brush himself off or make excuses- no sooner had he found his footing then he leapt into a fresh attack. Of course, he didn't have enough speed to catch his father off-guard, and Ranma easily sidestepped at the last moment, tapping Cayenne on the back of his head as he rushed past. The young Saotome boy spun on his heel, simultaneously using the motion to lash out in a kick… a move that was a bit too ambitious, as he lost his balance and tumbled over.

"Almost, my boy, but not quite." Ranma said, stepping in and heaving the blue-haired Japanese/Chinese boy up again, then leaping back to evade a rapid one-two punch-kick combo, grinning at his son's efforts. The boy grinned back, for a moment, then took on an expression of grim determination and resumed the attack.

Back and forth they moved, Cayenne primarily the offensive one, Ranma simply dodging and deflecting, testing his son's accuracy and speed, occasionally striking his own, carefully measured blow to highlight a particular weakness in Cayenne's defenses. Oh, that didn't mean that Cayenne wasn't getting his share of bruises, but only if Ranma thought such a measure was necessary to highlight his lesson, and there was certainly no malice in their fight… although a casual observer would be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

"You're getting predictable, dad- what's wrong? Run out of tricks already?" Cayenne taunted, his grin more 'adrenaline rush' then 'mocking'.

"Arrogant little pup! I've got more tricks in my little finger then you have in your whole body!" Ranma replied, his expression putting a total lie to any claims towards seriousness that his tone might have managed to muster.

"Oh, so that's where you're keeping it, huh?"

At that, Ranma took on an exaggerated expression of disappointment and shook his head slowly. "Is that the best you can do? The Saotomes have a tradition of being able to drive people wild with just a few words; you disappoint me, Cayenne." As much as he might have sounded like Genma, his body language made it perfectly obvious that he wasn't serious.

"I thought the Saotome tradition was being the martial artist equivalent of cockroaches." Cayenne mused thoughtfully, then dodged an obviously-broadcast punch with his own take on his father's aggravating smirk.

Another half-hour or so later, Cayenne Saotome was breathing heavily, his father less so, the two standing motionless in battle-stances in front of each other. It was Ranma who relaxed out of his stance first.

"Well, that's enough of that. You did good, son. Time to go home."

"What, you worn out, dad?" Cayenne taunted, trying to hide the fact he was gasping for breath. "Your age catching up with you?"

"Hardly." Ranma replied, rolling his eyes dramatically. "But your mother's expecting us back, and she's had to look after that Hibiki girl today too, so she's not going to be very happy if we're late."

"Ishi is there?" Cayenne asked, sounding far from happy at the possibility. "Um… could we maybe stay here a little longer? Say, until she wanders away looking for home?" He asked hopefully.

"What did you two do now?" Ranma asked.

"She started it!" Cayenne protested. "She yanked on my hair and tried to pour ink over my head- said I'd look halfway like a Japanese with my hair dyed black!"

"And you…?" Ranma replied patiently.

"I punched her in the face." Cayenne admitted immediately. Having a Joketsuzoku mother meant no belief whatsoever in it being wrong to hit girls- only that it was wrong to hit people who didn't deserve it. Teaching him exactly what **that** meant had been the hard part.

"And then…?" Ranma asked, not surprised by this turn of events.

"She punched me back and tried to choke me, so I kicked her in the gut, broke her umbrella over her head and ran for cover." Cayenne admitted.

"So that's why you were so eager to come on today's sparring lesson…" Ranma said, nonplussed. "Still, we have to go- don't worry, she won't be holding a grudge over something like that."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Cayenne muttered.

"Honestly? No. She's just like her old man in that." Ranma admitted. "But I'll be there, and so will your mom; you know Ishi won't try anything around her."

"Oh yeah." Cayenne admitted, then shivered. "Mom's scary when she wants to be."

"She's actually calmed down a lot… in public at least." Ranma unthinkingly muttered.

"Dad!" Cayenne protested. "I don't wanna hear that stuff!"

Ranma laughed. "Where'd ya think you came from, squirt? Come on, we need to get moving."

He tussled Cayenne's hair affectionately, his son spluttering in prepubescent indignation and ducking away from Ranma's hand, then started in the direction of home.


	8. Chapter 8: A Not So Happy Reunion

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** this oneshot is effectively a serial seed; I figured that, seeing as how it is fundamentally a Ranma/Shampoo piece, it belonged here rather then in Random Tales. If folks like this idea enough, Gideon020 and I will eventually build a whole serial from this root oneshot.

A Not-So Happy Reunion

The sun shone down bright and hot over this valley in one of China's mountainous regions, beating down mercilessly on the travel-worn figure striding relentlessly along the path to the glittering springs of the valley ahead of him. He paused to take a drink from a water bottle at his hip, then wiped his mouth dry. "Heh. Never would have guessed I could make such good time- not bad for my first solo training trip. Still, hope it's been long enough for them to cool down back at the Dojo… if I ever go back to those jerks." Having momentarily broken the silence, Ranma then resumed his lope onward to destiny, his mind unwittingly going back to how this had begun…

It was not looking good. He was surrounded by hostiles, and not for the first time he mentally cursed the day his fool of a father had brought them here. Kasumi and Nabiki were the on the sidelines, the former looking slightly worried but in no way attempting to calm these other idiots down, as per fricking usual, while the latter had her usual smug grin on her face. Both of the Kuno siblings had their chosen weapons out and were ready to start swinging, Ryoga looked ready to kill (not that was any different from how he normally was), Akane was practically glowing with rage with her oh-so-trusty shinai clenched firmly in her grip, and Soun Tendo looked perfectly ready to wade into the fray alongside his youngest daughter.

The only martial artist not looking ready to attack Ranma was Genma himself, and Ranma had no idea whether or not he truly believed that nonsensical claim he'd just made about Ranma having allowed himself to be seduced by Shampoo, or if he had made it up in order to distract Ranma from the verbal and physical beating he'd been delivering to his father during that evening sparring session, to make him forget about his desire to head to Jusenkyo and get cured at last. Ranma wasn't sure which alternative would be worse, in this case, but either way, his already shredded respect for the elder Saotome had just been torn apart quite violently.

The tension was palpable- the others would attack at any moment now, and knew he would be in for a savage beating if they did. His mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do- flee, or try and stop the fight before it erupted, try to persuade them that what they believed was not the truth. For a moment, the world seemed to hang poised, ready to go in either direction… and then Ranma came to his senses. Talk sense? Into this lot? None of these lunatics would ever listen to him, especially not now, when their blood was up! No, with fighting not an option, then Ranma's only choice was to use the so-called Saotome Final Attack; the Fast Break!

An uproar of cries echoed in his ears as he suddenly fled from them as fast as he could, smashing through the dojo wall as if it had been wet cardboard (he didn't destroy everything in his way the way Ryoga did because he had been trained better, not because he was unable to do so) and springing over the garden wall, hitting the road running, running as fast and as hard he could, weaving through random turns and changes in direction until, between all of that, he had left his would-be assailants behind. Finally pulling to a halt, drawing a deep lungful of cool night air into his burning chest, he considered what to do now.

Going back to the Tendo Dojo was **not** an option; even if they had cooled down themselves, Ranma was far too angry with them to contemplate going back. Damn them, just who did they think they were? What did they think they were doing, trying to interfere in his business? All he wanted was to be rid of this blasted curse; he never said anything about not returning! So he'd be gone a few weeks, wow, big deal, it wasn't as though that stupid engagement to that stupid tomboy couldn't withstand him being away that long. That thought helped cement it; he had delayed his rightful return to whole manhood long enough on account of his stupid father and his moronic friends- enough was enough. They weren't going to stop him now, not any more.

Buoyed up by a combination of indignation, long-suppressed desire, pride and anger, Ranma set out for the coast, the route he had walked to return from China coming to him with welcome clarity. The trip was a rather daunting one, the main reason why Ranma had never been able to bring himself to just go away from Nerima until this point, but Ranma was surprised to find it wasn't as bad as he'd anticipated. For the average person, yes, it probably would have been almost impossible to follow through on, but Ranma had been on the road his entire life- the very first memory he had was of walking on some dusty road at his father's side. In heavily urbanized Japan, Ranma found it child's play to hitch rides atop trains and buses, which carried him to the coast far faster then even he could of walked. At the coast, without Genma's bulky body, loud nature and obnoxious personality to make things more difficult, it was simple to stow away aboard a ship bound for China, which was far quicker and easier then swimming there. In fact, actually getting from the coast of China to Jusenkyo was taking the most time, but Ranma was proud of the time he had made.

Coming out of his ruminations to realize he was finally at the springs themselves, Ranma pulled to a halt- the last thing he wanted was to tumble into the wrong spring and maybe give himself something worse then the Nyanniichuan curse. He glanced briefly around the myriad springs lying around, more out of impulse then any serious belief he'd see the guide wandering amongst them, then inhaled deeply.

"Hello? Mr. Guide, are you here?"

"Ranma!" Came an answering cry, a cry that made Ranma instantly wary due to three things:  
It did **not** sound pleased at his presence.  
It was an undeniably feminine voice, and he personally knew that the Guide was a rather pudgy middle-aged man.  
It was also a very familiar voice, and when the owner of the voice sprang through the air to land in front of him, Ranma backpedaled in a near-frantic motion.

"S-S-Shampoo!" He yelped in shock, a hint of guilt, and maybe a trace of fear. The lavender haired girl stared back at him, her expression aiming for blankness, but a part of Ranma's mind thought he could make at one or more emotions peeking through the cracks- not that he was in any real state to notice. His shock only grew when some… _thing_… landed besides the Chinese Amazon. It was small, maybe the size of a toddler, but undeniably ancient, practically withered looking, yet with some hints of feminity that only made it more grotesque in appearance. It clung to a knobbly staff, a walking stick better sized for a far larger being, and gave him a cold scrutiny before turning to the girl and speaking in Chinese.

"Yes. This Ranma." Shampoo replied in her broken Japanese, her gaze never leaving the unnerved Japanese boy. At this, the crone cackled madly before turning back to Ranma, proceeding to speak in flawless, if somewhat archaic, Japanese.

"Ah, so you are the infamous Ranma that has led my great granddaughter on such a long ride. It is a pleasure to meet you at last, though I wish it was under better circumstances." The ancient crone bowed from her perch, "I am Cologne, one of the Elders of the Chinese Amazons. And I know that you are very familiar with Shampoo."

"Uh... sort of." Ranma said, plainly puzzled and a little edgy: what were the odds that he'd run into the same Chinese Amazon who had, however unintentionally, preceded his departure from Nerima? All right, similar coincidences had happened in Nerima, but that was over a thousand miles away now.

"Now the question remains, why are you here child? Surely you can't be here to enjoy the view of a few springs, and training here would be...dangerous."

There was something sinister in the old woman's tone, which was not making Ranma feel any more at ease here. "...I came to get some Nanniichuan." He finally admitted.

"Shampoo bet." The lavender-haired Chinese Amazon sniffed, anger warring with hurt in her words and body language. "That some rotten trick Ranma play!"

Cologne raised a withered hand to forestall any confrontation, "That's enough Shampoo, time enough for let these things lie, and there's no point in creating a grudge over something the boy has no control over."

Now Ranma was starting to really get suspicious. "So why are you here? If you know what this place is, then wouldn't you keep away? I sure as hell wish the old man had..." He grumbled to himself.

"Seeing as how my great-granddaughter has brought disgrace upon herself by returning in defeat from Japan, it is clear that she is in need of retraining. That is why we are here."

Ranma looked at the elderly woman quizzically. "I guess that makes sense… but isn't it kind of dangerous to train here, of all places? Ah well, I guess you'd know where the Nyanniichuan is well enough that you can fix her once her training is over." That was what **should** have happened with him and the old man… but… he had been waiting for his stupid panda father and the guide to find the map of the springs, or whatever it was they needed to figure out where the Nanniichuan was, and then the next thing he knew he'd been grabbed by a terrified panda and was running away from the valley, the guide coming along as fast as he could. He'd had no idea what was going on at the time, but he was positive now that Ryoga had been responsible; the Eternally Lost Boy wasn't the most reasonable person at the best of time, and having just escaped being boiled alive would **not** have improved his mood.

"I am afraid that it is not that simple. This is Shampoo's punishment, after all. Should she lose to me and receive a curse, well, she must remain cursed until she erases her disgrace. Which may haunt her for the rest of her life."

The old ghoul could have been talking about the weather, judging by the tone of her words, but Ranma could easily be considered horrified at her words. He had hated being forced to live with this curse for just over two months now- how much worse would it have been to spend the rest of his life stuck with it? And knowing that a cure was, to all practical purposes, just over the ridge? "You gotta be kidding me!" He finally blurted.

Cologne shook her head, "This is not a joking matter, boy. Shampoo must be punished, and it is my solemn duty to see that she is punished."

"…Well, surely there's some other way you can punish her?" Ranma asked. The girl might have chased him away from China, so he never had a chance to get his cure, and yes she might have made his life a misery in Nerima with her constant switching between "lovey-dovey mode" (which made Akane pound him) and "honor-fuelled killer" mode, but Ranma's conscience would never forgive him if he just stood back and let someone be condemned to the very fate he so abhorred. It didn't mean he was soft or anything like that, it just meant that he could actually give a damn about someone besides himself- something his father seemed to have forgotten how to do recently...

Cologne looked at him, her expression inscrutable. "It's not that simple. Shampoo needs to be retrained as well as punished, hence our presence here in the first place."

Ranma looked thoughtful, rubbing his chin as he thought it over. This was more then a guilty conscience, now, now it was a challenge- and Ranma always had to win when challenged. Finally, something occurred to him that just might let him pull off a victory in this confrontation…

…Okay, it wasn't really any of his business, but Ranma's pride had run away with his common sense. And not for the first time in his life, either.

"Couldn't I train her for you? I mean, I'm the one who kept beating her, so doesn't that mean I'm a good candidate for her retraining? I also plan to go back home to Japan once I find this stupid Nanniichuan; couldn't you, like, spin that as a kind of exile to whoever you gotta answer to?"

Cologne looked thoughtful, then nodded slowly. "Your suggestion does make sense… I will admit that it requires some bending of the rules, but I could pull it off. You give me your word that you will live up to this offer of yours? My descendant's future will be in your hands if we accept this offer of yours…"

"I give you my word." Ranma said, without hesitation. It was only training, after all, and the girl wasn't exactly unskilled to begin with; he was sure that he could give her the necessary hard knocks in a few weeks or so, then send her on her way and get on with his life. What could possibly go wrong? …Ignoring the sudden icy chill that slithered along his spine, Ranma spoke again. "Well, if that's settled, could you tell me where the guide is? I'm not leaving here until I take that swim." He blinked in confusion when the Chinese girl he had been talking about suddenly started babbling in Chinese, far too quick for Ranma to follow with his limited grasp of the subject. "What's your problem?" He asked.

"Excuse me; my great-granddaughter and I need to talk." Cologne said smoothly, then speaking firmly to the lavender-haired teenager in Chinese. Ranma watched as they walked (well, Shampoo walked- Cologne hopped like a gnome on a pogo stick) off to a point where they could talk without him being able to eavesdrop. Not that he would do such a thing. Besides, they were talking in Chinese. It was then that the guide approached from where he had evidently been lurking behind some bamboo growths, and Ranma stopped caring about the Chinese Amazons.

"You can't be serious about this, great-grandmother!" Shampoo protested.

"And what, precisely, is your problem, Shampoo? Don't tell me you would prefer to receive a curse of your own?" Cologne asked patiently.

The teenage Amazon shivered; her revulsion probably was biased thanks to her, ah, "introduction" to the effects of Jusenkyo, but that didn't change the fact she found the place genuinely unnerving. That it would be a permanent mark of shame did not make it any more inviting to her. "No, I'm not saying that… but…"

"But nothing, my girl. The Spirits are giving you a golden opportunity here, so I would advise you to reach out and take it with all of your strength. You knew you would have been sent to try and take him as your husband after being punished anyway; think of this as a head start. This situation, in fact, gives you a considerable edge in your efforts… so long as you are willing to be patient."

Seeing the confused look on her descendant's face, Cologne elaborated. "The boy is clearly skittish around you- while your mutual history is undeniably to blame, I sincerely doubt that he has had much contact with the opposite sex before. You say he was engaged to some childish girl in Japan? Well, his presence here would indicate that he has left her- which only emphasizes that you will need to be cautious in your efforts, lest he flee from you as well."

Shampoo looked pensive. "So, what are saying I should do, great-grandmother?"

"I believe the appropriate plan here would be to be his friend first, his student second, and his wife third." Cologne replied. Seeing the incomprehension in Shampoo's eyes, she went on to explain. "The boy is clearly unfamiliar with romance, and most likely with friendship itself- your description of his behavior around that girl you challenged point to it. Because of this, and because he has chosen to accept you as his student, you have a golden opportunity to ensnare his heart; be his student, but seek to become his friend. He will not want to part from you… which will allow you the chance to make him love you, to agree to become your husband, as the law of our people so demands. Charge into this, and he will run."

Shampoo nodded, her expression solemn. "I understand, great-grandmother. I will fulfill my duty."

"I would expect nothing less of you, my child. And now… your new sensei approaches." Cologne said, Shampoo looking with the elder Amazon to where a jubilant Japanese boy was all but skipping towards them, radiating joy in every motion.

_The two teens departed the Byankala Mountains the next day, after Cologne had retrieved the necessary belongings for Shampoo so the 'exiled' Chinese Amazon wouldn't slow her new 'trainer' down. The first week or so was awkward, the reality of what Ranma had agreed to weighing in on him (he'd always been the student, he had no idea how he was supposed to actually train someone) and mingling with the unease of being around Shampoo, who had been trying to kill him so fervently the last time they had been in each other's presence. Thankfully, for Ranma's sanity, Shampoo herself was apparently just as unnerved by being with Ranma as Ranma was by being with her, and so the two simply walked in silence, talking only when necessary, simply getting used to each other's presence._

_Despite this, they make good time. Both are used to covering large distances in the wilderness and fending for themselves, but one is a local, and thus better able to find short cuts of various sorts. Ranma can't help but tease his new 'student' when she uses her looks to charm a wandering truck driver to give them a lift. Nor can he repress his shock when she blows it off with a quick quip of her own, making it quite clear that she has no insecurities about her looks whatsoever. As if he hadn't guessed that with how casual she was about taking baths with him around._

_They don't train much, during this stretch of their journey, Ranma being more focused on getting back to his own country and Shampoo, despite her bold words to her living ancestor, being somewhat overwhelmed by her 'mission', but they do get a few sparring sessions in, here and there. In the first one, Shampoo is the only one who attacks- Ranma dodges and evades, never striking back, a process that continues until their ride pulls in and it's time to leave. Shampoo says nothing about this, nor when the second session is just the same, but the third is too much._

"Why Ranma no hit back?" She asked, stopping her assault.

"Because you can't hit me." Ranma replied, casually.

"Shampoo know that. Working on that. But Shampoo's speed not only problem- Shampoo holey too. How Shampoo defense get better if Ranma not show where Shampoo weak?"

"Oh yeah…" Ranma muttered to himself. He honestly hadn't thought of that, but Shampoo apparently read something in it that he didn't, because she spoke up again.

"Ranma maybe not like fight girls? Well, Shampoo sorry to say this, but unless Ranma fight with Shampoo, Ranma be stuck with Shampoo forever. Besides, Shampoo rather little pain in spar and learn where holes is then big pain in fight, because Shampoo not know Shampoo leave opening."

By the time Japan is visible in the horizon, it would still be wrong to call them truly friends, but they're a lot more comfortable with each other now. The paranoia and tension that followed them from Jusenkyo has dissipated, and they are calm in each other's presence. They are starting to talk about things other then necessity, or how to help Shampoo's training. But it's a peacefulness between them, not anything more personable then that. It would take a lot more time in each other's company for it to grow into something more…

Ranma looked over the bow of the ship at the docks, close enough he could practically see the people going about their business, and clicked his tongue in impatience.

"Dammit, can't this thing go any faster? I'm sick of being on board this ship all the time."

He sensed someone coming up from behind him, turning just in time to catch his backpack of supplies, now quite diminished. Shampoo grinned at him, her own pack already strapped on.

"Well, if Ranma feel that way, then maybe Ranma join Shampoo in little swim? Shampoo bet she can beat you there."

"You're on!" Ranma said happily, pulling on his backpack. Once both teens were in position, they dove over the side, swimming with powerful strokes through the water and pulling in towards the docks. Motivated by the challenge, as always, Ranma pushed as hard as he could and was the first one to scramble up onto the solid land, though the distance between him and his new student wasn't as great as it might have been. Pushing himself to his feet, Ranma shook himself off, stepping forward as Shampoo did the same behind him, and looking over their surroundings, ignoring the somewhat curious looks of the bystanders.

"Now… where do I go from here?" He asked himself aloud.

"The only place you're going, **boy**, is back to the Tendo Dojo." Came a familiar grumble.

Ranma looked to the speaker in surprise, still having a hard time believing that his father, of all people, was actually here. "…What are you doing here? How'd you know I'd be here?"

Genma Saotome didn't answer, not at first. Then, he spoke, his gaze fixated not on Ranma, but on the lavender-haired girl behind him. "I was faithful, you know. I believed in you. I reassured Soun that it was just your youthful exuberance, at first; that you would cool off and come back to Akane like you knew you had to. Then I convinced him that you had decided to go for that cure, so you could be a whole man for your true fiancée… but this? Ranma, you wound your father's heart. I spent sixteen years giving you all the benefit of my wisdom and knowledge-"

"What wisdom? You stupider then old pot." Shampoo proclaimed.

Genma went on as though he hadn't heard her. "-And this is how you repay me? Abandoning your honor, your solemn duty, to run around with some Chinese harlot?"

"Who you calling harlot!?" Shampoo screamed.

"Yeah! That's my student you're talking about, old man!" Ranma snapped angrily, and surprisingly at least of hint of that anger was because of how Genma had insulted the girl whose progress in martial arts was now his responsibility, as opposed to general anger at his old man's stupidity.

Genma ignored them both, rolling up his sleeves dramatically. "You have shamed me, boy, but I will not allow you to dishonor the Saotome agreement! You are coming back with me, even if I have to drag you there!"

Having said this, he sprang at Ranma, the two falling into their old sparring sessions as easily as a drunkard downing his next bottle. It was a fight that could have gone either way- at this point in time; Ranma still wasn't quite strong enough to be guaranteed of defeating his father in the martial arts. However, Ranma had an ace up his sleeve that even he wasn't aware of: Shampoo was **not** happy with Genma, and was more then happy to step into the fight when she saw an opening and lay the elder Saotome out with a concussive blow to the head from her chúi. He promptly dropped like a sack of potatoes, but she gave him two more wallops, just to be sure. She looked up over her defeated opponent to meet the eyes of her trainer, and shrugged automatically.

"So, some welcome home, huh?" She asked, trying to lighten the tension.

"Yeah, some welcome." Ranma muttered. He stared at Genma's unconscious form, looking for all the world like he was repressing the urge to give him a kick, then turned and started walking away. "Come on, Shampoo".

Shampoo promptly did kick Genma while he was down, then followed her husband-to-be (not that he was aware of the fact). "Where we going?"

"Anywhere other then Nerima- if they think I'll just come crawling back to them, then they got another thing coming."

"But what we do?"

"Eh, I'll think of something."

About ten minutes after the teens had gone, Genma finally returned to consciousness. Touching his battered cranium gingerly, he then shook his fist at the sky. "Curse you, Ranma! You will return to Nerima with me! Your honor demands it!"

Lumbering to his feet, he set off in pursuit of his wayward son… a pity he was going the wrong way…

_The End. And the Beginning._


	9. Chapter 9: Tales From Joketsuzoku

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** this chapter is something of a rough sequel to the Shampoo entries from "15 Maternal Moments", which can be found in the anthology 'Random Tales'. I've decided that this particular set of drabbles, however, more accurately belongs here.

Tales from Joketsuzoku

_First Meeting_  
Shampoo looked at her husband of only two years, regarding her and the two bundles in her arms in equal parts wonder, awe and fear, and smiled in exhausted bliss. She knew he was overwhelmed; truth be told, she was sure she would feel the same way once she got over the twin fugues of birth and the pain-numbing treatments she had been given. But, for now, her brain was running more or less on autopilot, and all she could do was watch as he came to her bedside and touched her cheek, gentle as a breeze, before reaching down to the closest baby, almost fearfully.  
XXX

_Names_  
Ranma had fairly accustomed himself to a life he knew he would have considered totally bizarre, back in his naïve days as a freeloader in the Tendo Dojo, but life here in China still managed to throw up a few surprises. Him and his wife arguing over whether their children would have Japanese names or Joketsuzoku names probably wouldn't have surprised those who knew them… what was the surprise was that it was **Ranma** who was arguing for Joketsuzoku names and **Shampoo** for Japanese ones. Ranma figured it would be easier for them to feel like they fitted in if they had names like their peers- Shampoo argued that Ranma himself was Japanese, so they should at least acknowledge that side of their lineage.

"This is getting us nowhere." Ranma finally said. "What about giving them both names?" He suggested.

Shampoo looked contemplative, and then smiled. "Wish we'd thought of that before. Sounds appropriate to me." She half-turned from him to gently stroke their daughter's head, covered in purple fuzz, the baby girl wide awake and staring with a vacantly amused expression at her parents while her red-haired brother slept silently beside her.

"I think 'Asa' for the girl, and 'Akemi' for the boy." She murmured. "They were both born at dawn."

"I think 'Xai Vu' suits Akemi for his other name." Ranma said. "As for Asa, what do you think of 'Fa Ne'?"  
XXX

_Lullaby_  
As baby Akemi finally went back to sleep, Ranma stifled a yawn and turned around to go back to bed. He directed a tiredly curious expression at his wife, whom he found watching him.

"What's so interesting?"

"Oh, I just never knew you had such a wonderful singing voice." She teased.

"I'll sing you a love song for our anniversary. Now move over; it's cold out here." Ranma replied, walking over their shared bed.

Shampoo smiled as she let him back under the covers. "I'll hold you to that, darling."  
XXX

_Devotion_  
Shampoo bit back a curse as the rock crumbled beneath her fingers, forcing her to grab desperately for a fresh handhold and causing the skin on her fingers to split on the jagged stone. But that herb she needed only grew on the heights of this mountain, and she had a sick daughter who needed it. She would not stop.  
XXX

_Nurture_  
Ranma crooned softly as he paced back and forth, clutching the faintly moaning toddler in his arms, doing what he could to cool her down, hoping desperately that Shampoo would be back to make the medicine soon. A part of him was surprised that he felt this way, amazed at the sheer intensity of his feelings for someone so deeply intertwined with a person he never could have imagined caring about in his life before. The rest of him ignored that part; all that mattered was making sure Asa Saotome, his daughter, got better.  
XXX

_Birthday_  
"Well; that was a pretty dull party. I hope the kids weren't too disappointed" Ranma said as he casually flipped a table back into upright position.

Shampoo looked up from where she was sweeping up some broken pottery, blinking in confusion. "What on earth do you mean?"

"Well, no serious injuries, no declarations of vendetta, nobody got set on fire, no explosions- not at all like the parties I used to have when I was a kid."

"You must have had one messed up childhood."  
XXX

_Sibling Rivalry_  
"Does it make us bad parents that we teach our kids how to fight each other better rather then to stop fighting?" Ranma asked.

Shampoo watched as Akemi put Asa in a childish chokehold, only for the elder twin to drive her elbow into his midriff and roll free, barely managing to get to her feet before he tackled her and knocked her over.

"No."  
XXX

_Present_  
Ranma considered himself to get on quite well with his in-laws, all things considered. But that didn't mean that he didn't find them a bit quirky at times…

"Don't you think a battleaxe is a bit much for a little girl?" He asked.

Shampoo's granduncle Rho Bu grimaced. This was something that came very easily to him, what with the scars that covered one side of his face and ruined his eye, courtesy of a run-in with a rather angry bear at some point in his youth. He still wore the somewhat moth-eaten pelt as a cape. "There's nothing wrong with a battleaxe. 'S a very feminine weapon, is an axe. Me wife used two of 'em, rest her bones."

"That's not my concern. But don't you think a full-sized battleaxe is a bit too big for a five year old to wield?" Ranma pointed at Asa, currently struggling to drag her new toy along the ground, carving a furrow in the soil with the tips of both blades.

"Eh. She'll grow into it."  
XXX

_Pet_  
Akemi sighed in youthful exasperation. "Dad, come down from there." He called up from the foot of the tree.

"No. Not until you take that thing away!" His father shouted back.

"Come on, its just a little kitty!" He protested. Why was his father making such a big deal out of this?

"I don't care, you're not keeping it!" Was the response.

Time to go for the guns then… "But you said I could have a pet."

"A pet is fine, a cat isn't!"

"So what do you expect me to have then?" Akemi asked, with more sarcasm then one might have expected of a boy his age.

"Anything that isn't a cat! A snake, a bird, an army of rats, a fox kit, a wolf pup, a bear cub- hell, I'll let you have a dragon hatchling if you can find it! Just take the cat away!"

Akemi sighed heavily, then turned to go. Over his shoulder, he called back to his father. "You're a weirdo, you know that dad?"  
XXX

_Embarrassment_  
Shampoo squeaked softly and drew the bedcovers around herself quickly, her husband doing his best to slink out of sight and become invisible when they realized that Asa was standing at the now-open door.

"Mommy? Are me and Akemi gonna have a little sister soon?"

"Uh… not as such…" She said softly, her mind awhirl as she tried to figure out what to say now.

"Then what was all that for?" Asa asked.

"Go to bed." Both Saotomes promptly declared in unison, their voices flat and brooking no argument.  
XXX

_Fishing_  
To Ranma, the concept of fishing as a fun activity was a bit baffling. He'd learned how to fish himself at a fairly young age; it was one of the easiest ways to get fresh food. That his kids considered it a fun excuse to shirk their chores and spend some time either messing around in the cold water or sitting in the shade was a bit more understandable. That said, he found he rather enjoyed it; there was something weirdly endearing about showing his son how to snatch a fish with his bare hands, or teaching his daughter the right knot to keep a hook on so a fish wouldn't escape due to it slipping off the string.  
XXX

_Training_  
There was never any question that they would teach martial arts to their children. And Asa and Akemi Saotome couldn't have asked for two better, more diligent trainers. In fact, the real problem was less being trained and more figuring out exactly which parent to ask for training. Asa sighed as her parents crossed from arguing over which of them would teach her the move she wanted to learn to actively fighting over it, settling down to watch them and see what she could pick up from it. She blinked as she noticed her little brother stand up and start walking away.

"Where are you going?"

"To ask nanny Khu Lon." He replied.  
XXX

_Protective_  
Ranma stared at his opponent, rage he could never recall having felt before burning in his heart. "Why are you here? I left you behind in Nerima."

The man smiled darkly. The sun glittered off of the bare steel in his hands. "Revenge." He stated simply.

"What could you possibly want revenge for that would make you chase me here, after so long?" Ranma snarled. "And kidnapping my children! I swear, if you've hurt them…!"

"Fight me." Was his sole response.

"You don't have to ask twice!" Ranma roared, already a blur of motion.  
XXX

_Sacrifice_  
Shampoo's heart leapt into her mouth as she skidded to a halt at the battle site. The kidnapper, whoever they might have been, was gone- but Ranma was here, and badly hurt. She had no idea how she had gone from standing to kneeling at her husband's side, but she didn't care; all that mattered to her eyes was his bloody, broken body, fear and rage and sorrow tangling and twisting in a terrible knot inside her. She gently helped lift his upper torso, whereupon he coughed, looking at her through one glazed eye, the other held shut by mashed flesh and swollen bruises.

"The kids…?"

"They're safe, they're with great-grandmother." She said, practically whispering.

"Good…" Ranma sighed, then coughed, blood spattering as he did. "He came… from Nerima. Wanted… revenge."

"Don't talk… just rest; I'll get you back to the village, and the healers will make you better…" Shampoo insisted. Ordinarily, she would have hated the way she almost sounded like she was begging, but here and now she couldn't give a damn.

As she said this, though, Ranma's eye sank closed and his body went totally limp in her arms. Fuelled by adrenaline, her hands sped to his neck… and found no trace of a pulse. She thought she heard someone screaming, begging him to come back, not to die, not to leave them alone… and as she cradled his body in his arms… she realized it was her…  
XXX

_I know, a rather dark ending. To be honest, it was the final oneshot that came to me first and I sort of reverse-engineered the others from it. Despite what it may look like, I actually do prefer a happier ending, but I just couldn't think of how to do one for this. I do have vague plans for a sort of sequel based around Asa and Akemi using the Nanban Mirror to go back to canon-Nerima to try and prevent the final drabblet here from happening. Progress has been… disappointing, I'll admit. I'm not entirely sure how to handle it, for one. As to who the killer was… well, I'd like to see people draw their own conclusions. Note, also, that just because they were described a "he", it doesn't mean that was necessarily what they were…  
Speaking of the future, I plan to do a oneshot I'm calling simply "Married Life", a drabblet collection type piece, and I'd appreciate readers suggesting prompts (or keywords, or whatever you want to call them) for it. The basic scenario is random bits and pieces of life after the two are married, so anything that could fit into that 'theme' would be welcomed._


	10. Chapter 10: A Different Route Taken

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** You might be wondering why this oneshot has been moved here. You're almost certainly wondering why the story that was originally developed from it has been erased. The answer to both questions is simple: there always comes a time when an author looks at one (at least) of their works and thinks to themselves… "that really could be done better". So it is with the "A Different Route Taken" serial. Beyond minor fixes, I've also become uncomfortably aware of various flaws in characterization, plot, and handling that have convinced me it's best to take the original story down and start again. This oneshot has been placed here so that the original oneshot (in revised form, of course), the one that attracted so many readers' attention and inspired me to expand it into my first pairing-based serial, won't be lost. While I was originally intending to rewrite ADRT entirely, I'm not so certain that will be done now.

A Different Route Taken

_Place: Tendo Dojo_

_Time: morning after Ranma's nightmare (see the anime episode "Ranma Goes Back to Jusenkyo at Last!")_

_Scene: Total Chaos_

"Gimme that damn mirror, ya old freak!" Ranma bellowed as he chased Happosai madly around the house, the withered pervert always bouncing just out of reach with the aforementioned Nanban Mirror, taped together as best he could manage, clutched in a scrawny fist. The other residents of the Tendo Dojo were gathered about the table, calmly eating breakfast and ignoring the two combatants.

"Make me, ya snot-nosed little punk!" Happosai retorted, sticking out his tongue and giving Ranma a red-eye. "Whatcha want my mirror for anyway? You know Nabiki stepped on it and broke it; it's worthless now! I only kept it for the sentimental value."

"You don't know if it's worthless or not! It may still work- and that means I can use it to get to China and get cured at last, so hand it over!"

Ranma lunged at Happosai and managed to catch hold of the pervert, only for the mirror to be sent flying in the process. In a startling display of prowess, Soun twisted around in his seat and caught the mirror out of the air… and almost on cue, began to weep, trickling his tears onto the mirror's taped-up crack-riddled surface.

"I want to go into the future, to where my little Akane has finally married Ranma!" he cried. Everyone present who had experienced the power of the mirror before hand held their breath, waiting for the brilliant glow of light to emerge from the mirror's surface. But nothing happened. Happosai wriggled from Ranma's grip and bounced off the back of Soun's head, snatching the mirror as he did so and plucking some onion from Soun's plate. He rubbed his eye with it and then trickled his own tears onto the mirror's surface.

"I wanna go to the bedroom of that cutie who lives down the street!" he cried. But it still didn't work. Happosai's expression quickly turned to one of anger. "Stupid! I told you it was busted!" And with that he turned and hurled it away over the wall before angrily sitting down and helping himself to some breakfast, Ranma doing likewise with a sorrowful expression. He was sure that dream had meant something…

Meanwhile, Shampoo was sitting outside the back of the Cat Café. The restaurant had closed for the day, as Cologne had to leave Nerima on some important business. Fortunately for Shampoo's peace of mind, she had taken Mousse with her –to do the heavy lifting, she had privately told Shampoo- and she was taking the free time and solitude to do some thinking. Mainly about her Airen and his continued reluctance to accept her as his wife. Why did he continue to do that? Could it be he actually did love Akane Tendo? No- impossible! Then why did he continue to run away from her…?

She tensed as a thought struck her; a TV show episode she'd watched yesterday had mentioned something about first impressions being the most important, and that a bad impression could have severe consequences. She had to admit, her first impression on Ranma had been many things, but good was definitely not one of them. The whole trying to kill him thing wasn't as bad as one might have thought, though her subsequent "cute, sexy, affectionate girl" act would have wiped that from the memories of even a guy who wasn't as forgiving as Ranma, but the other stuff…

She slumped as the list began to play inside her head. Wiping Akane's memories of Ranma with the Xi Fa Hang Gao (even if he didn't like her, and he certainly didn't seem to back then, he had told her that nobody liked to be forgotten about)… the constant switching between "kiss him" mode and "kill her" mode when Ranma's curse got activated or deactivated… trying to make him look like a rapist when she teased him with the bottle of antidote formula… she probably couldn't have made a worse impression if she'd tried!

She was distracted as she heard the sound of something falling towards her with rapid speed, and stood up to try and find it. She leapt upwards and caught it gracefully, dropping easily back to her sitting position, where she found it to be none other than her great-grandmother's magic Nanban Mirror.

"Aiyah, how this get here? Shampoo thought old pervert throw away when clumsy money-grubbing girl break it. Still, maybe great-grandmother like to have back… even if it broken."

She pulled it into her lap as she remembered when she had first seen this mirror, and seen its power first hand, how she and the others had been pulled through space and time to China, around three hundred years ago. Thinking about that, and how that little trip had ended –with Nabiki shattering the glass of the magical mirror beneath her clumsy foot- made her more depressed. If the mirror wasn't broken, her having it now meant she could try to use it to fix the comedy of errors she had made of her first time catching up to Ranma in Japan. But with it broken… leaving Shampoo with pangs in her heart. Was the universe somehow taunting her? Mocking her? Declaring that she was never to be with the boy she loved? Unwillingly, a tear sprang to her eye and slowly trickled down her cheek, falling gently onto the mirror's surface.

"Shampoo wish she could go back in time, fix first impression with boy-type Ranma…" she whispered. Maybe it was because Shampoo was of Cologne's bloodline, and thus the rightful heir to the Nanban Mirror. Maybe it was because her wish truly came from the heart. Or maybe it was because of the weird quirks of fate that had led to the Nanban Mirror coming into her possession in the first place. Who knew? All that mattered was that a soft bluish-white light filled the alleyway behind the Cat Café, and when it cleared Shampoo was gone.

_Nerima, some time before Shampoo's dramatic entrance into the ice cream parlor where Ranma is enjoying his/her first ever taste of ice cream, in the wake of the Martial Arts Figure Skating "Charlotte Cup" challenge…_

Shan Pu, the youngest warrior to be declared champion of the Joketsuzoku –better known to some as the Chinese Amazons- in three hundred years, cursed her luck yet again. It was bad enough that her ascension to champion had been marred so quickly –she didn't recall ever hearing of any other champions that had been disgraced right after winning their final battle- but the outsider girl had proven a lot faster and sneakier than she had anticipated. And why, she asked the gods, did she have to be Japanese? Even with her red hair, a distinct rarity even now that some blood from the West had began to trickle into the Land of the Rising Sun, the sheer number of people in this country meant that looking for her was a process very similar to finding a needle in a haystack.

And yet, somehow, she'd managed to track her quarry down to this little ward of Tokyo. Her queries, despite her still-poor grasp on speaking Japanese, had managed to worm out that she lived here- there had been talk of her participating in a "Martial Arts Gymnastics" competition, and a "Martial Arts Ice-skating" competition (she had a hard time believing they were actually serious about such sports). Still, Shan Pu still didn't know exactly where she was in this place, and had chosen to rest in a deserted alleyway behind an empty shop- when a sudden burst of light and wind filled the place she had chosen to rest.

"Great mother of queens, what witchery is this?" she blurted, staring in disbelief as the light faded away and standing before her was none other than- herself! Her doppelganger looked as shocked as she, though that might partially have been because the object she was holding –some kind of hand mirror- suddenly disintegrated in her grip. It was then she seemed to notice Shan Pu and developed an expression of shock that was likely a mirror of her own.

"Who are you?" Shan Pu demanded, recovering from the shock. The doppelganger looked shocked and disbelieving for several seconds, taking in her surroundings before looking back at Shan Pu with a calculating expression, moving herself into a traditional Joketsuzoku posture indicating complete honesty mingled with an urge to be heard out.

"I know this is strange to you, but believe me when I tell you that I mean nothing but to help. You see, I am you- or at least, I am you roughly several months from this point."

Shan Pu, not surprisingly, was skeptical. "Then how did you come back in time to speak to me?"

"I used great-grandmother's Nanban Mirror- but it just broke." The doppelganger replied, indicating the pile of dust on the ground.

"Pah- if you were really me, you'd know that the Nanban Mirror was stolen from great-grandmother by a disgusting letch and thief over three hundred years ago!"

"I know that- and I also know that the old pervert is still alive, and he will come to live in this place soon." The doppelganger replied. Shan Pu was sceptical, but if it was true, then maybe she could reclaim one of her family's lost treasures- the wretched Happosai had stolen several powerful Joketsuzoku artefacts. "If you are telling the truth… why did you come back?"

"To help you. There are some things you should know about Ranma Saotome."

"The outsider girl who defeated me?" Shan Pu asked, a fierce flame of hope kindling in her heart- if this mysterious doppelganger could indeed lead her to the girl who had defeated her, than Shan Pu could at last take her revenge and return home in triumph.

The doppelganger looked at her with a serious expression before responding. "Do you remember the legends of Jusenkyo?" She asked, her tone serious.

"The cursed springs? Whoever falls into a spring is forever after cursed to become whatever drowned in that spring when splashed with cold water? What Amazon hasn't?" Shan Pu replied, wondering why this was important. How did this relate to the outsider she was honor-bound to defeat?

"Then believe what I have to tell you. The panda who was eating my, your, OUR prize was actually the girl's father, a Japanese martial artist named Genma Saotome. He is a… competent… martial artist, but he is lazy and stupid, so much so that he even put Ranma through the dreaded Cat-fu training." The doppelganger proclaimed, shuddering as she mentioned Cat-fu.

"Free-style Cat-Fist? That girl survived the training?" Shan Pu uttered in disbelief; she remembered hearing about that particular technique, sometimes called the Nekoken, in one of Khu Lon's lectures on forbidden martial arts. The training was barbaric and the technique a falsehood, as even if the trainee survived, their phobia was ultimately a weakness. It was far too difficult to trigger the "true cat-fist", and the fact the trainee adopted the mentality and mindset of a cat was the ultimate liability; all that power, and no brains to use it with. Any skilled warrior who knew about the technique could outthink someone locked in the berserker state.

The doppelganger nodded grimly, her expression one of restrained contempt. "Yes, she did. What's more, despite the fact he cannot read a word of Chinese, he deliberately took them to Jusenkyo to train, whereupon he was knocked into the Spring of Drowned Panda."

"I thought it was weird- as far as I knew, pandas only eat bamboo…" Shan Pu muttered to herself. "But, wait, are you implying that the girl Ranma also fell into a cursed spring?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. What's more, you've already seen her cursed form. Think about how, whenever you saw her, she was always accompanied by her father in the shape of a panda."

"You, you don't mean…" Shan Pu whispered, the implications becoming clear. Her look-alike nodded before responding.

"That's right. Ranma Saotome is actually a boy, and thus we owe him the Kiss of Life, not the Kiss of Death."

"It can't be…" Shan Pu whispered, before fixing her doppelganger with a serious gaze. "Why did you come back to tell me this?"

"To give you a better chance than I had. To fix the mistakes I made first." She replied, in a sad tone. At Shan Pu's curious expression, she sighed and elaborated. "Let me explain some more. When I first found Ranma here in Japan, I found her in a shop with another girl- she gave me the slip, so I went searching for her. In the process, I found her good-for-nothing father-as-panda at a place called the Tendo Dojo, and waited for her to show up- not knowing at the time she was really a boy. To my surprise, the girl from the shop showed up- accompanied by a boy named Ranma. After confirming that this stranger was, in truth, a guy, and believing him to be a stranger, I tried to question the girl- having seen her with the girl-Ranma, I felt sure she knew where she was. She insisted on denying any knowledge of my prey, and in an exasperated rage, I struck at her with my chúi, a blow she narrowly dodged. The boy-Ranma then intervened, snapping the head off my weapon and into the air- whereupon it fell on my head and knocked me cold."

She gave a small, sad smile and continued. "When I regained consciousness, I did what I felt the laws would demand; I gave him the Kiss of Life. Not that it was any great sacrifice on my part at the time…" She said absently, an expression less bitter and more lasciviously longing sliding onto her face.

"Was he cute?" Shan Pu asked, unable to help herself even given the serious (not to mention weird) situation she was embroiled in. Chinese Amazon Warrior or not, she was still a girl going through puberty and who hadn't been able to establish anything resembling a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex, thanks to a certain blind idiot… in fact, the only reason she hadn't tried to find herself a girlfriend (beyond the fact she didn't swing that way… alright, and the fact that just about all the other girls were jealous of her) was because she knew Mousse would try and ruin that too.

Her counterpart grinned widely. "Cute? Oh yes… also strong, brave, and skilled enough to take out Mousse in his sleep."

Shan Pu fought the urge to squee in delight; he sounded perfect! Then, reality sank in and she sobered up quickly. "But that's not all there is to it, is there?" She asked darkly. "You wouldn't be here if it had turned out happily for you."

The doppelganger visibly quivered, and for a second Shan Pu thought she was going to cry (which would have been rather unnerving), but the other version of herself steeled herself and began to explain. "That evening, I found the girl-Ranma in the Tendo Dojo's garden, and attacked her. Both of the Ranmas appeared and disappeared well into the night, until finally I lost track of the girl-type and returned to the Tendo Dojo to curl up beside my new husband and sleep. When I awoke the next morning, thanks to the angry girl –Akane Tendo- I found myself embracing the girl-Ranma." She took a deep breath, sighed heavily, and went on. "Another roundabout chase, and then she disappeared again, to be replaced by boy-Ranma going to school with Akane."

"I found a little black piglet wandering around, and I decided to make a delicious lunch for my husband- Canton-style Pork with Hibiscus. How was I supposed to know if was Akane's pet?" she shrugged, and Shan Pu looked at her askance. "Fortunately for all of us the pig was tough enough to survive- as I later found out, that pig was actually a rival of Ranma's who had fallen into the Jusenkyo Spring of Drowned Piglet. Either way, I got angry with Akane during the whole fiasco, primarily because she'd been a nuisance and a threat to my engagement with Ranma. So I challenged her to a fight."

"Let me guess; she was tougher than you'd expected?" Shan Pu asked, and her look-alike promptly snorted in disbelief.

"Don't be absurd. She was pathetic- I took her down with my first strike- using the Xi Fa Hang Gao to erase her memories of Ranma. I thought it would help… I didn't consider at the time that Ranma might have disliked the idea of being absolutely forgotten about, and even if he didn't like her he finally managed to insult her enough that; combined with her stubborn will, she broke the conditioning. That was only after Ranma found out about the antidote shampoo and we had… a little moment."

"What do you mean by that?" Shan Pu asked, and her doppelganger looked embarrassed and scuffed the ground with her foot. "Ranma was going to swim to China to buy some formula 119, when I decided to tease him with the fact I had a bottle of it. When he tried to take it, I stuffed it down my cleavage… and then screamed like he was trying to rape me when he tried to bluff me into giving it to him, so loudly the whole neighborhood heard me."

"Not a way to make a guy feel fondly towards you." Shan Pu noted, and the doppelganger nodded sadly. "That's one of the reasons I came back to warn you. Anyway, after that incident, I made a bargain with Ranma; I'd give him the bottle of formula 119 if he'd give me the brutally beaten body of his female namesake. It was during his attempts to produce such an effect that he cured Akane. I found myself there shortly afterwards, and seeing Akane had been cured, I attacked her again- either to repeat the shiatsu or to kill her; to this day I'm unsure which I meant to do. Neither turn of events would have pleased Ranma- he doesn't kill, and as I told you before he dislikes being forgotten."

Another deep breath and a sigh before she continued. "He stopped me, and finally decided that it was time to put an end to this. He took me into the garden, scooped a bucket of water from the koi pond, and doused himself with it, afterwards claiming to have been a girl all along. I was furious, betrayed… heartbroken. I attacked her, and had her dead to rights, when I stopped. I just couldn't do it… maybe it was because, in the end, the idea of killing someone over food just didn't feel worthy, maybe it was because I could see the boy-Ranma's face in hers… whatever the reason, I broke off my attack and fled, returning to China."

"There, I gave my report on the events to great-grandmother and the other matriarchs, and as punishment great-grandmother decided to retrain me at Jusenkyo. There, I received a curse; the Spring of Drowned Cat, but it also led to the realization that Ranma had lied to me- he was a man with a girl's body curse, and had been all along. As a cat, I returned to Japan, there to confirm he truly was Jusenkyo cursed- and also my husband by law."

"… So how did things go wrong?" Shan Pu asked cautiously.

The look-alike shook her head and then spoke, a tinge of desperation in her voice. "What went right would be the better question. I had made a terrible impression on the man I wanted to be mine, and from then on I only lost ground in my efforts to claim his heart. That's why I came back- to tell you this, to warn you, and give you a chance to make a better first impression than I did. Here's the address of the shop you want-" She rattled off an address in Japanese that Shan Pu memorized, and then resumed her spiel "-but this is what you want to do. When I found her, I smashed in through the wall and attacked her straight out; she tore a hanging from the wall and used it to distract me before escaping. Instead, get a kettle of hot water and walk in through the door. Pour it over her, and you'll have the proof of what I'm saying."

Shan Pu looked at her, studying her thoroughly. This was all very hard to believe… but… what if it was genuine? Finally, she nodded and left.

Akane Tendo took a scoop from her parfait and ate it slowly– in stark contrast to her dining partner, who had polished off "her" parfait with lightning speed. The two girls (one genuine, the other cursed) looked over to a nearby television, currently displaying a documentary on the Bayankala Mountains of China- and, apparently, a mysterious village of martial artists who lived within it.

"You know, I've been there." Ranma murmured softly. The two girls were so distracted that they didn't notice a new customer enter the shop; a Chinese girl with long blue hair carrying a shiny teakettle, the contents of which sloshed softly as she walked over to stand behind and slightly to the side of Ranma. Neither girl noticed her until she spoke, in heavily accented Japanese.

"Nihao, Ranma." Ranma whirled around in response to that soft voice with such speed her neck almost cracked, and then retreated as far away from the other girl as possible, spluttering in what Akane could only call fear.

"Sh-sh-shampoo!" But that was all she managed to say, for the mysterious Chinese girl suddenly whipped around her teakettle, divesting it of its lid and pouring its contents over the shocked Ranma before she could think to react.

"Hey, that's hot!" he complained automatically. Now it was his assailant's turn to recoil, dropping the empty kettle with an expression of deepest shock on her face.

"You is, you is- you is man!"

"Uh… well, yeah, I mean…" Ranma babbled, off-balance. Akane watched in confusion and disbelief as the girl –had Ranma really called her Shampoo?- poked Ranma in the chest with her finger, then began to rub and pat it with her open palm, apparently having a hard time believing that the breasts she had seen before weren't there anymore. Finally, she looked into Ranma's eyes and spoke a single word in a faint, questioning tone.

"Jusenkyo?"

"How'd you know?" Ranma blurted. This had clearly not been what he'd expected- but perhaps more surprising was Shampoo's reaction, as her face suddenly lit up in a smile and she clamped onto him in a passionate embrace with an enthusiastic declaration of "Woda Airen! Wo ai ni!" Akane blinked in disbelief and confusion, before the reality of what she was seeing sank in and fury began to boil within her.

"Just what do you think you're doing!" she shouted.

"I don't know what's going on! Shampoo, what's this- mmph!" Ranma was cut off in mid-question as Shampoo's lips suddenly fastened themselves to his.

In the alleyway behind what had been the future site of the Cat Café, the duplicate Shampoo began to flicker and grow transparent, slowly fading away into nothingness. This would have alarmed her, were it not for the alterations of her memories and the instinctive knowledge that she was being "reslotted" to her proper place in the timestream. Her task was complete and so, in a moment of paradox, her actions were being undone. Her past/present-self would subconsciously adjust her memories to create another explanation for why/how she secured the knowledge of Ranma's true state as a boy, but some residual traces of the foreknowledge she had provided would remain. It was up to the Shampoo of this new timeline to make her own chance with Ranma, hopefully for better, but possibly, oh so possibly, for worse.

_And thus it begins. You know something that's begun to gnaw at me? This story received a surprising amount of popularity when it was in serial form, and even now Shampoo is one of the most popular choices to win "Chasing the Rainbow". So how come there's nobody besides me writing Ranma/Shampoo? Every day, it seems the only updates are Ranma/Akane, with the occasional Ranma/Mousse or Ranma/Ryoga – hell, there's more romantic Ranma/Ryoga pairings then there are Ranma/Shampoo centered fics, period!_

_Just why is that? I mean, it's not like it's especially difficult to write Ranma/Shampoo – the fact a hack like me can do as well as I have proves that. It's not as though there's not a decent background to build off of through the canon – Ranma canonically __**is**__ attracted to Shampoo, but between her curse being able to send him running for his life even when he doesn't want it to, and generally not spending much time with her, it's no surprise that he's drawn more towards Akane. Hell, she was the chronologically first girl he was attracted to – look at his reaction to receiving the Kiss of Death. If it hadn't been a vow to kill him, something that rather quickly broke his heart (and even when she was still trying to kill him, Ranma did find her attractive), Ranma would not have been all that interested in Akane. As for potential comic quirks… hell, we've seen Nekonron, the Musk, the Phoenix, Pink & Link and Maomolin from China – who knows what else might be there, if Shampoo would even want to move back there. There's every canonical evidence that Shampoo would be just fine staying in Japan if she and Ranma did marry. And it's not as though Shampoo doesn't love Ranma back; while she does try and use love magic on him, that's more desperation due to how little positive attention he pays her. She loves him so much she actually manages to try and resist supposedly perfect mind control when she was ordered to kill him (the Phoenix People story), and at least one translation of that, I've heard, has her decide she will kill herself after Ranma refuses her alternative suggestion to dying and she is thusly compelled to attempt to kill him. That's __**not**__ the action of someone who's chasing Ranma simply because she commanded by law._

_So why does everybody seem to pass her by? Hell, there's far more stories focusing on Ranma and Kasumi, who pays Ranma the same absent kindness she gives everyone, and Ranma and Nabiki, who is openly disdainful of Ranma, then there are on Ranma and Shampoo. I feel Shampoo has built up an undeserved bad reputation in fanon, similarly to the 'psycho Akane', but without the massive legion of "pro" fans to give a countering fanon 'wellspring'. And that's a damn shame._

_I know that the possibility of someone actually taking to mind what I've said here is even more remote then the possibility that one of my works might end up on the Fanfic Recs page at TVTropes (which is, itself, almost non-existent), but I just had to get this off of my chest._


	11. Chapter 11: The Path Unwalked

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** Firstly, I want to apologize for the rant in the last chapter's endnotes. It was rude of me and I want to thank you all for not being offended.

Just a note, but I've realized that there's been several 'serial seeds' scattered in this anthology so far. I don't really think I'll ever get around to writing all of them (or even any of them), so if folks like a particular 'seed' and want to see what kind of story they can make out of it, well, send me a PM or leave a review announcing your intention and I'll be happy to see what you can make of it. I do request you don't use the "Joketsuzoku treat men as second class" cliché, which I've been fighting against pretty much since I started writing, and I'd really prefer you not to write Ranma and Shampoo into lesbian lovers (honestly, from the evidence in the series, if there's any girl that's at all bi-inclined, it's Ukyo), but other then that, fair game.

This chapter is dedicated to ErekLich, who gave me the inspiration to try my hand at this particular possibility.

Also, Nyuchiehzu is the Chinese spelling for Shampoo's village; the guide used that as a reference in the anime so I figured I'd do the same. I know I'm probably missing some accents for that spelling, but I couldn't find an online source that gave the accentuated spelling, which meant I couldn't program them into WORD.

The Path Unwalked

"Well, if I beat you, you got no problem, right?" Ranma asked, trying to solve this diplomatically. Well, relatively diplomatically. It was honestly kind of depressing how often the solution to problems in his life boiled down to "run away" or "pound on someone until they agree to stop bugging you". It wasn't as though he and his father had known that the food laid out was the first prize for the tournament, they hadn't even known this village was having a martial arts tournament until they had shown up and the guide had told them. They were starving; they saw the food lying out, so they started eating. Not the most well mannered of actions, admittedly, but not malicious. Genma couldn't take responsibility here, what with being in the form of a panda and all (Ranma tried to ignore the little voice in his head, which had only gotten louder since Jusenkyo, that snarked that Genma would never take responsibility unless forced), so that meant that Ranma had to do it instead.

"What she say?" The guide asked the girl he was addressing, who broke off her challenging stare at Ranma to give him a nonplussed expression; she evidently didn't speak Japanese any better then Ranma spoke Chinese. Turning to Ranma for confirmation, which Ranma gave with a nod of his (technically her) head, the middle-aged Chinese man gave a disappointed sigh and began speaking to the bluenette in her own language. Upon finishing, the girl rattled off something in Chinese and stuck her nose up with an angry sniff. "She accept." The guide told Ranma.

Ranma ignored him and stared at her, pondering what to do next. On one hand, he didn't want to be seen as some kind of freak with his curse… but this village was close to Jusenkyo, which was why the guide had brought them here for more supplies after he and Genma had eaten everything the guide had, so surely they'd be familiar with the curses. Besides which, Ranma had only been a girl for a few days now, and he'd seen that his opponent was a formidable fighter in her own right. Finally, he made a decision; he had no idea what would happen if he lost this fight, but he bet it wouldn't be pleasant, so best to stack the odds in his favor. Hell, that was the basic precept of his style, after all.

Shampoo watched impatiently as the girl spoke with the guide for a few seconds, the guide responding with a question and the girl strangely waving with her hand in a manner that was clearly indicating her body, but why would she do so? The guide nodded and walked off to do what the outsider had asked, leaving Shampoo torn between fuming at the indignity of being forced to wait in order to make this insolent outsider pay and curiosity to see what would happen next.

She didn't have to wait long as, several moments later, the guide returned with a steaming cup of hot water and with a short word of apparent thanks, the girl upturned the cup onto her head and _changed_ into a stunningly handsome black-haired boy. Shampoo's jaw dropped and her eyes widened in disbelief, the other villagers babbling and murmuring their own shock in the background. The boy looked… well, between how fast they flashed over his features and Shampoo's own distracted state, it was impossible to tell, but upset would probably be a sufficient general outline. The guide stepped forward, distracting Shampoo and giving her a chance to compose herself.

"He says he wants you to know he is a boy cursed by Jusenkyo, not a real girl." The guide said, almost giving her another mental overload, until his next words helped her reorientate herself again. "He wants to know where you two will fight."

Shampoo mutely pointed at the challenge log, still slightly out of it by this disorientating turn of events. First she won the tournament and became a champion, then an outsider ruined her moment of triumph, and now that outsider had turned out to actually be a boy? This was just too much to handle! It was only after both of them had ascended to the challenge log and she was facing him across its length, chúi in hand, that she shook it off fully and began to chart her plan of attack. Originally, she would have simply rushed the outsider in assault, sacrificing defense for offense in her belief that she would outclass the apparent girl and thusly be able to strike her faster then she could react. After all, she knew that women outside of the tribe were rarely trained to the standards she and her fellow Joketsuzoku were. In contrast, outsider men were to be considered a serious threat until proven otherwise.

Well, she knew what she had been told, and if the boy had survived the forbidden valley with his humanity intact (admittedly not unscathed) then he clearly had some skill, so she judged caution to be the better approach. Once the signal to begin was given, she rushed forward – admittedly that had been her initial plan, but this time she didn't got to the extent of leaving herself wide open so she could concentrate on going as fast as possible, using her chúi to for extra cover. She had yet to meet someone strong enough, even in her tribe, to punch through that much solid steel without breaking their wrist (or arm).

Her caution proved justified when he, seemingly effortlessly, weaved around her first chúi strike, the Chinese warrior pulling back the weapon she had used to attack as a shield while lashing out with the other, only to see it dodged as well. Confidence unchanged, courtesy of her opponent failing to make any attack of his own, Shampoo decided upon a gamble and suddenly lunged forward, swinging her chúi out and then together at the ends of her arms, aiming to clash their heads together in an impact that would probably shatter ribs – if it landed. She was caught between being angry and being impressed when her target sprang into the air, easily clearing her head, then spun around and swept her off of her feet before giving her a shove in mid-air that carried her into the open air beyond the challenge log. Between the speed of his attack and the extra weight of her weapons, she promptly found herself introduced painfully to the ground.

She had lost.

Ranma hopped lightly to the ground, grinning triumphantly to himself even as the referee held his arm aloft and said what he guessed to be the official declaration of his victory. As he looked around, he saw that the girl he had just beaten had pushed herself off the ground into a sitting position and was looking him up and down, as if studying him. Finally, she nodded and stood upright before walking over to him, something that caused Ranma's muscles to tighten, as he'd fought more then a few opponents who had been sore losers. Not that he was really much better, as some would point out (and had, more then once). She stopped about an arm's length from him and pointed at her chest (the part of him that was fully a teenaged boy instead of a martial artist, the part that had been so recently upset and thrown off by Jusenkyo, couldn't help but swallow hard at the sight).

"Shampoo." She said.

"Eh?" Was Ranma's not-so-eloquent response.

"Shampoo." She repeated, more forcefully this time, poking herself in the breast for extra emphasis. She then pointed at him with the other hand, saying something that Ranma could tell was quizzical just from the tone.

"Oh! Ranma. Ranma Saotome." Ranma replied, understanding what she was doing now, pointing at his own chest to make things clear.

She nodded, seemingly to herself, then gave him a bright smile. "Ranma? Woda airen, wo ai ni." She proclaimed.

"…Wo ai ni?" Ranma repeated, baffled.

She nodded again, then suddenly shot forward and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her lips to his as he reeled back in shock, at which he promptly stopped moving at all. Ranma's mind remained blank for several moments, until a mental gear realigned itself and an inner voice spoke up, pointing out that he was being kissed for the first time every by a very pretty girl, so was he going to just stand there like an idiot? Kick started into action by that thought, Ranma hesitantly, even timidly, put his arms up and gently wrapped them around her, trying to return the kiss as best he could given that he had never done something like this before. Evidently, he did pretty well, given that her enthusiasm seemed to increase in response to his actions. Finally, they broke it off for want of air, staring into each other's eyes.

"Wo ai ni." She murmured again, and again Ranma mimicked her in confusion.

"It means 'I love you'." Someone called out, possibly the guide, but Ranma neither knew nor cared.

"L…Love?" He finally asked, softly. As far back as he could recall, no one in his life had ever said something like that. Oh, he knew that his father cared for him, in a bungling, loudmouthed, violent, self-centered, hard-assed sort of way, but that just wasn't the same.

She nodded, never once taking her eyes from his, then leaned in as if asking for another kiss, something that Ranma was happy to give her.

Through all of this, Genma had been hanging back, casually eating his fill of what food remained in what could be considered a display of trust in his son's capabilities… or just self-centered shortsightedness. By the time he looked at what was going on, Ranma and Shampoo were into their second kiss and, well, it felt like his heart had just skipped a few beats. Fortunately, he had just been about to down a bowl of piping hot soup, which he promptly upturned on himself instead. Now reeking of onions, he grabbed the guide by the collar and shook him furiously. "What's going on here?" He bellowed.

"Sir, please stop shaking me!" The guide stuttered, it taking several moments before Genma's brain processed what he had heard and he did as he was asked. "Is law of Nyuchiehzu, sir; woman what is beaten by outsider man must marry that man." The Jusenkyo guide explained in his broken Japanese.

Genma's jaw dropped in shocked horror. Marriage by right of combat? Who'd ever heard of something so stupid! He could not, would not, believe that all his hard work to keep his son away from other women once he hit puberty, lest he be tempted to stray from the arranged marriage awaiting him, was to be wasted by some backwards villager! No big-breasted Chinese slut playacting at being a martial artist would ruin **his** boy for marriage to a Tendo girl! With an outraged roar he turned and charged the teenagers…

Shampoo was feeling quite pleased with herself indeed. She really would have preferred having a chance to actually date a bit before she found herself a husband, but seeing as how that stupid Mousse had been stalking her for so long, she could never find anyone willing to go out – if they weren't put off by him, they were inevitably taken, way too arrogant, or into men. She definitely could have done worse then this 'Ranma Saotome', she figured. He was good looking, a powerful fighter, and from the way he was acting right now, she rather doubted he'd turn out to be some kind of abuser or bully in their relationship. It should be noted that this analysis was taking place in a rather small part of her mind; the rest was consumed with enjoying being able to kiss a boy without Mousse interfering, and enjoying Ranma proving that, yes, he was a quick learner in more then just martial arts…

…Which was about then a dull roar caught her attention. Reluctantly she broke off the kiss, wondering just what the hell had caused it, but barely had time to comprehend what was going on when she caught sight of a homely man in a worn gi barreling towards her. The next thing she knew, she was lying painfully on her back, head spinning from a combination of a nasty blow and mild vertigo, and her ears were full of the uproar of multiple voices. It took several long moments before she finally managed to make sense out of at least one voice… and that voice was shouting at her that her husband had just been kidnapped. **That** gave her all the extra encouragement she needed to push past the dizziness, roll to her feet, and start running at top speed in the direction she could pinpoint shouts in Japanese coming from. She had no idea what had just happened, but she was **not** going to let someone abduct **her** future husband! When the Japanese outcry suddenly went silent, she somehow managed to find even greater reserves of speed

Genma grunted with pain as he hoisted his unconscious son-turned-daughter out of the pond he had just ducked him – or was that her? – in. The validity of his actions had been proven; the moment he tried to take his son away from that golddigger of a Chinese girl, the boy had immediately started protesting, actually trying to fight him in order to go back to her! In the end, he'd been forced to subdue him physically, succeeding, but not without his share of bruises. It was an unpleasant reminder of the fact that the gap between the two of them was diminishing with surprising speed… but what might happen when Ranma finally surpassed his father in skill? Genma shuddered and pushed that idea out of his mind. He had just succeeding in pulling the boy-turned-girl out of the water and to her feet when he heard a distinctly unwelcome feminine voice from behind him.

"Ranma!"

'Oh crap…'

Genma turned, putting on his most winning smile, intending to lie through his teeth and claim to be some other Japanese traveler with his daughter, but the smile faltered as the bluenette took one look at the unconscious, soaking wet Ranma, then glared at him and spat something that he had just enough Chinese to know was quite unhappy and rather vulgar. He'd forgotten she knew what Ranma looked like in either form… and now she knew what **he** look like. The sight of her pulling out a very sharp looking dao cinched it in Genma's mind and he did what he did best.

Run for it.

The sensation of fleeing for his life with Ranma in his arms was a rather familiar one. Genma really wished it wasn't.

_Several weeks later, Nerima district…_

The people who were out in the rain stared incredulously at the impromptu piece of street theater currently being performed before their very eyes. After all, it was hardly every day that you saw a teenaged girl and a giant panda trading kenpo and kung fu attacks, much less with the girl shouting at the panda as though she honestly believed it could understand her.

"Fiancée! You dragged me away from China, away from a cure, for a stinkin' arranged marriage!? Are you out of your tiny mind?! If you think I'm just going to go along meekly with this crap, you got another think coming, even if I have to beat it into you!"

Many winced, and a few mothers covered the eyes of their children (to the great disappointment of those children) at what happened next, which culminated in the girl literally lifting the panda off of the ground and hurling it a wall with such force that it's head punched a hole through the bricks. She sneered and made a very vulgar gesture at it. "I'm going back to China, old man, and you can just suck on it!" With that, she turned and began to walk away.

Genma groaned in pain; he knew that damn Chinese girl would cause problems. Oh, his son hadn't mentioned her in his tirade, but he just knew that part of the reason he was so vehemently opposed to the idea was because that loose girl had been so free with her affections. Admittedly, the fact that Genma had been forced to flee the country straight away, as the girl knew what both of their forms looked like and was thusly able to track them far more easily, which had prevented them being able to even investigate if there were any cures for their curses, hadn't made things much better. But still, Genma knew that if his son hadn't had that big-breasted overly-affectionate floozy chasing after him, he would have accepted that it was his duty to wed one of Tendo's daughters. Ignorant pup; he tried to claim that Shampoo was just being a loyal friend – wouldn't hear a word of Genma's pointing out that what she was doing was stalking them.

Painfully pulling himself from the wall, fighting past the pain, he grabbed with his clumsy paw at a nearby signpost. If there was one advantage to this cursed body, it gave him more raw muscle to use, and thus he was, if anything, stronger as a panda then as a human. He ripped it up from the streets and shot quickly and stealthily to a position behind his wayward child, bringing it whipping around with sufficient strength and speed to knock Ranma out cold. No sooner had Ranma collapsed then he absently jammed the pole back into the sidewalk, picking the redhaired girl up and slinging her over his shoulder, picking up her backpack in his free paw before beginning to walk in the direction of his old friend's house.

After a few seconds, he realized he was surrounded by staring, whispering people, and snarled to himself in irritation He spun in a clumsy, yet menacing circle, growling at all and sundry and being gruffly pleased at the way they flinched and recoiled en masse. This day had been bad enough without some well-meaning idiot trying to get involved and ruin his plans even further. Seeing no challenges, he resumed heading towards the Tendo Dojo; surely, today could only get better, right?

An hour or so later… it got worse. The rain only stopping moments before they reached the grounds of Soun Tendo's home, and Ranma kicking and fighting from his, er, her, position on Genma's shoulders, Genma had no time to try and change them back. Fortunately, when actually presented to the Tendo household, Ranma had calmed down, still clearly seething (at least, to Genma), but not willing to take his frustration out on others. Unfortunately, the Tendos hadn't exactly reacted well to the fact that Ranma was apparently a girl, with Soun going so far as to faint in shock – same old overdramatic Tendo. While Soun's eldest, a pretty, homemaker type, had seen to making him comfortable, Genma had decided it would be best to change back as quickly as possible, lest things get even more confused.

The girls had taken it… relatively well. They hadn't started an uproar, but they had stared at Ranma with open wariness, and outright hostility on the part of the youngest. Soun had recovered much quicker on seeing Ranma in his male form, and Genma had quickly related the tale of their curses, deciding to demonstrate by switching back and forth between panda and human form rather then using Ranma, as he might otherwise have done – the boy's mood was bad enough, and Genma sore enough, that he judged it wiser to be a tad more self-sacrificing. The details clear, silence reigned, until Soun gave a friendly laugh and clapped Ranma on the shoulder.

"Well now, you have had a hard time of it, but your problem isn't so bad. My eldest daughter is Kasumi, she's nineteen, my middle daughter is Nabiki, seventeen, and my youngest daughter is Akane, sixteen. Pick whichever one you like; she'll be your new fiancée."

"Akane would be the wisest choice." Kasumi immediately proclaimed, hands on the youngest Tendo's shoulders as her other sister did the same thing, spouting her agreement.

Genma fought to keep from reacting, but he had a _bad_ feeling about this; Ranma was already hostile enough to the idea, but Soun's youngest looked just as bad, which could make things even worse.

"Me? Why me?" She protested.

"Because you hate boys, right, Akane?" Nabiki asked, something of an audible sneer in her tone.

"Well, you're in luck; Ranma's half girl." Kasumi added, which made both Saotomes twitch.

"Me? Marry that perverted freak?! Never!" She shouted in a rage.

"Who are you calling a perverted freak!?" Ranma roared back, anger pushed to a boiling point. First his old man drags him away from a person Ranma might have been able to be friends with, simply because she was a girl. Then he got so obsessed about avoiding her that he dragged Ranma straight back to Japan, giving Ranma no chance to look into anything that might remove this hated girl-form curse. _Then_ he dumps the truth on Ranma; that he did the first two things because he had plans for Ranma to marry some girl Ranma had never even met before! And **now** the girl everyone was saying Ranma was going to marry was some bad tempered little squirt! This was just **too much**!

"Isn't it obvious?" Akane sneered back. This was too much! She couldn't believe her father would try to make her marry some perverted stranger in the first place – but to actually expect her to marry some lecher who actually turned into a girl? Forget it! She'd bet anything that he took full perverted advantage of being such a freak… it made her sick to think about it.

Ranma's expression twisted and writhed, his fists turning white with the force he was clenching them, trembling like a leaf in a breeze, so obviously enraged that Genma found himself frightened that he would forget his training and strike a noncombatant in anger. He found himself relieved when Ranma simply spun angrily on his heel. "Forget this! You can suck on it, because I'm not staying!"

"Just where do you think you're going, Ranma?" Soun snapped in a tone full of authority, at which Genma winced; bad move, Tendo…

"Back to China! Even if I was interested in getting married, which I'm not, a cure is far more important! I'm not staying stuck like this to get hitched to some stranger!" He turned and jeered at Akane. "Particularly not some bad-tempered flat-chested little brat!" He mocked, going for the verbal bloodshed, as he tended to do when irked.

Akane's face contorted into an ugly snarl of rage, and Genma barely had time to get to safety before she picked up the table and smashed his son over the head with it, knocking him out cold.

"That, he had coming." Genma sighed softly, though truthfully he felt that was a bit of an overreaction. Still, it meant that Ranma couldn't make good on his threat. "It's been a long day, Tendo; I think it might be best to let them all get used to the idea of the engagement before we make them decide." He suggested.

"Good idea." Soun answered, looking somewhat unnerved by his daughter's display of violent anger.

Genma sighed again; why, oh why, had China caused him such a headache? Still, at least they were back in Japan and things would get back on track as he had planned…

_The longshoreman scratched his head as he tried to recall. It had taken him a little while to understand what the girl was asking, as her Japanese was rather rudimentary, but finally she had managed to convey that she was looking for some people; either a teenaged boy named Ranma Saotome, or a redhaired teenage girl with the same name, either of which was likely to be accompanied by a giant panda or a homely and rather hefty man in a travel-stained gi. After a few moments of wracking his brains, he remembered._

"_Oh, yeah, I saw the girl, and the old man. They were heading to Tokyo, but that was about a week or so ago." He told her._

_She bowed politely, then turned and ran off, leaving him scratching his head in puzzlement. Strange girl._

… Genma suddenly shivered, prompting Soun to give him a quizzical look.

"What's wrong, Saotome?"

"I just feel like someone walked over my grave…" Genma answered absently. Finally, he shook his head and put it out of his mind; he was just imagining things.

…Wasn't he?

_Originally, I was going to end this with Shampoo's arrival, which would be much earlier then in canon, as she knows that Ranma and Genma's two forms are the same and can thusly track them much easier (that she managed to find them at all in canon shows just how damn good she is at it), but I decided this way would work better. I hope that Ranma's behavior wasn't too extreme, and I tried to explain why he'd act this way instead of his canonical self. He will be put off when he and Shampoo do meet and he finds out she wants to marry him, but less so then he normally would be, seeing as how, among other things, he won't be attracted to Akane, due to A: he's not as desperate for friendship as he was in canon, as he knows that he's got a friend coming for him, and B: he had a much worse first meeting with her and so they're going to be even more at odds then they were in the earliest canon._

_Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this idea. Once again, thanks to ErekLich for his suggestion of the base-concept._


	12. Chapter 12: Mirror Images

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** this is just a pointless little drabble that came to me from I-don't-know-where, but I hope you readers like it. For the curious, we're just waiting for the next chapter of Waaagh! Ranma to come back from the beta and we're about to start the next chapter of Chasing the Rainbow. There's also a story request for this anthology, put in by Tellemicus Sundance, that we should have up fairly soon.

Mirror Images

The two figures, teenaged males both, stared at each other, studying each other intensely. Each could have been a perfect replica of the other, a reflection of the other in a mirror… yet this was also false, for there were imperfections in the duplication, differences subtle at first, yet glaringly obvious when one took the time to observe them.

Both of them wore clothes of a Chinese style; sleeveless shirts, long pants, slip on shoes. One dressed in somewhat worn orange shirt with a small bowtie at his neck. The other wore a dark red shirt, a set of Chinese symbols subtly but proudly displayed over the heart.

One seems strangely wary, giving off a subtle sense of being perpetually on the watch, anticipating an attack from any quarter that could come at any time. The other seems more relaxed – not in the sense of being less aware, but as though he has had to be on guard less then the other.

One's battle stance is more fluid, as though they must be able to strike in all directions whenever the need calls them. The other is more focused, as though they have grown accustomed to having some ally to watch their back for them.

From nowhere, water sluiced over both of the doppelgangers. One promptly shifted in form, masculine hardness softening and flowing into feminine smoothness, eyes darkening in hue, hair turning deep red in color, height visibly vanishing, with the end result that where there was a boy, now there is a girl. The other merely grew damp.

Ghostly images began to form behind each of the two mirror images, visualizations of important people and events in their lives. Challengers, friends, foes, good times and bad, both see the other's life play out before them. Finally, Ranma decided he had seen enough and stepped away from the enchanted mirror, which went blank and glassy once more, before leaving the vault it was kept in.

"So… that's what my life would have been like if the old man had stuck with his original plan and gone to Jusenkyo first." He muttered to himself, easily wending his way through the streets of Nyuchiehzu to the spot where he knew Shampoo would be hanging out.

Shampoo sighed happily as she toweled off the sweat from her latest workout. She wondered what her fiancé (they were still a bit hesitant to call themselves husband and wife) had done during his look at the artifacts vault, then started as she felt two arms wrap around her from behind, pinning her so that she couldn't attack, as would have been her instinctive reaction, yet gentle enough that she recognized her "assailant".

"No fair; how come you can always do that and I can't?" She complained jokingly.

"Because I've got a whole lifetime of being a sneak behind me and you don't." Ranma teased back, then swiftly placed a soft kiss on her cheek before letting her go.

"And what was that for?" Shampoo asked sincerely. Much as she appreciated such gestures, she knew her fiancé was damnably shy, by her standards.

"I've just been thinking about how lucky I am to have met you, that's all." Ranma replied.


	13. Chapter 13: Vows

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** it's been a while since I updated this anthology, and for that I'm sorry. Inspiration just hasn't been hitting me.

Vows

Shoulder to shoulder the two youths stood, each supporting the other's weight as they staggered towards the promised shelter of a nearby cave, the sky pregnant with violent rains. They made it inside just as the storm finally broke, rain pelting down and swiftly turning the ground outside to mud. It would be well over an hour, at the very least, before either Ranma or Shampoo could set foot outside again.

"Are you alright, Shampoo?" Ranma asked. He was certain that the Chinese girl had two or three busted ribs; that damn bear prince had caught her a nasty blow. The fact she had taken it because she was pushing him to safety from a swipe that would have knocked him senseless, or even torn his head off, only made the guilt worse.

"Shampoo alright. Ranma is okay, though? Stupid yokai clobber you good." She asked, fighting back a gasp of pain as one of her injured ribs squirmed painfully under her skin. She hated that sort of injury!

"I'll be fine, you know I heal quick. I still can't believe a bunch of animal yokai would kidnap Kasumi, of all girls, to wed her to a bear yokai prince." Ranma grumbled.

"Why? It make sense; Kasumi most womanly of all Tendo daughters." Shampoo pointed out, even as she and Ranma staggered over to a dry cave wall and slid down. The jostle pained her injuries, but it was a single sharp pain compared to the discomfort of before. Ranma didn't answer her directly, merely grunting in concession of the truth of her words.

The battle had not gone quite as well as any of the impromptu rescue party had hoped; while their opponents had been pretty wimpy yokai, they were still yokai, and the sheer might of their leader had forced Ranma and his friends apart – oh, the battle had been won, but neither Ranma nor Shampoo was quite sure where the others had ended up. Given what the circumstances were, they had quickly decided that the best thing they could do was take shelter here and wait for the rain to pass before they went in search of them. With both of them injured, and Ranma's ailurophobia, assuming their weaker curse forms was a stupid idea even if there weren't any of the yokai still wandering around and looking for a fight.

They sat in silence for several long moments before Shampoo sighed, the sound unnaturally loud in this environment. "Some sword and shield I turn out to be…" She muttered to herself.

Ranma's ears, however, were keen enough to catch that, and they practically pricked up at her words. "What's that mean?" He asked, curious and bored and hoping for distraction.

Shampoo flinched, she evidently hadn't expected Ranma to hear her, and looked sheepish. "Is nothing, airen. Shampoo just thinking of things she shouldn't."

"Like what?" Ranma pressed.

"…" Shampoo wondered if she should give in, or change the subject, or simply stay silent. At last she decided to just tell him the truth; as much as it pained her, Ranma normally didn't show much interest in learning about _her_. "Shampoo was thinking of wedding vows."

To say Ranma was puzzled would be an understatement. "What do you mean? What do those have to do with swords and shields?"

Shampoo sighed softly. "Ranma know that Shampoo is betrothed to Ranma, but is also Warrior of Joketsuzoku, yes?"

He nodded.

"Well, Joketsuzoku have different wedding ceremonies for different…" She visibly struggled to find a word in her less than perfect grasp of Japanese. "Persons. For Warriors, ceremony is simple. Is thought to be most fitting for most simple, forthright persons to have most simple, forthright ceremony."

Despite himself, despite his understandable nervousness about the topic of "marriage", Ranma was interested. "What is your ceremony?" He asked.

"Warriors stand in front of record keeper and allow striking hands to be bound with red cloth." Shampoo explained. "Warriors then say Oath of Heart for record keeper to hear, it up to them whether they say it one after other or if they alternate lines of Oath, then trade weapons. Marriage weapons should be beautiful, be well made, but should also be functional. If Shampoo get married, Shampoo expect beautiful chúi to be given to her." She added, dropping a subtle (by her standards) hint. "Once that done, Warriors undo binding cloth and then enjoy wedding feast and wedding night."

Silence reigned again, both teens lost in their thoughts, before Ranma spoke up again. "So… what's the vow anyway? I mean, that's what made you think of swords and shields, isn't it? Or can you only speak that, y'know, on the day?" He asked, trying to hide the fact he was genuinely curious.

"No, can speak it. To say it to other person is often used as sign of affection, sign that Warrior love that person and want to be with them, but no is legally binding." Shampoo explained. "As for how it go…" She trailed off, then took a deep breath and began to recite from the bottom of her heart.

"If you are in danger, I shall be your sword and your shield."

"If you feel sorrow, I shall bring you joy."

"If you feel pain, I will heal you."

"If you feel alone, I will be there for you."

"I will give you children, and they shall be happy and strong."

"I will give you a home and a warm bed."

"I shall love you with all I am, for as long as I live."

"Never will I prove myself false with this vow."

"I am yours, and you are mine, for now and for always."

"That is how Oath go." She added, letting the last echoes of her speech die away.

"…You would really say that? To the person you love?" Ranma asked quietly.

"Shampoo say that only to person she love. And Shampoo mean it, with all Shampoo's heart and soul." She replied gently.

With that, the two fell quiet, sitting in the dark side by side, each keeping their own counsel and letting the moments drift by.


	14. Chapter 14: Meeting the MotherinLaw

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** I'm not really sure where this idea came from. It just sort of popped into my head and so I ran with it. I do like that others are liking the works I'm putting up for this anthology, and I hope they prove my point. After all, if a hack like me can make a working romantic piece for Ranma with Shampoo, then surely it's not hard.

Meeting the Mother-in-Law

The figure in the kimono and bearing the long, cloth-wrapped bundle strode purposefully through the streets (as much as was possible in her choice of clothes), blind to the pleasantness of the morning. She was on a mission, and had no time for any distractions, even if there was a part of her, deep down, that wanted to fail in this unpleasant task. But honor was a burden set in iron and she could not set it down, no matter what the cost. Seeing her destination approaching, she squared her shoulders, took a cleansing breath, and made ready to bring this matter to the close.

Inside the Nekohanten, Ranma and Shampoo were setting things into place in order to open the restaurant for the day's business when they heard knocking at the door. "We're not open for business yet." Ranma hollered impatiently. When the knocking persisted and refused to peter off, he scowled. "Mousse, if that's you again…" He warned, stalking towards the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. At the sight of who was waiting outside, however, his angry body language evaporated and vanished on the breeze, fearfulness overwriting it as he backed into the restaurant.

Shampoo immediately tensed up and got ready to fight; if her airen was nervous, then someone or something terrible must be outside. She was rather surprised when the source of Ranma's distress followed him into the Nekohanten, revealing herself to be an attractive, normal-looking middle-aged woman. Slipping out of her defensive stance, Shampoo cocked her head inquisitively; what was going on? Who was this woman? And why did she seem to frighten Ranma so?

"Hello, Ranma. It's been some time." Nodoka Saotome said, softly.

"Mu…Mom?" Ranma nervously squeaked out.

"Mom?" Shampoo repeated in shock. Ranma had never told her about his mother! A pang of hurt, tinted with anger, began crawling into her heart, but she forced it back with an effort of will: Ranma was clearly frightened of this woman, mother or not. She could save grilling her fiancé over why he wouldn't tell her about her for _after_ she had left and he had calmed down.

Apparently ignorant of the reaction she was inducing in her son, Nodoka began to speak in the same soft, sad tone. "Your father told me you were here… and I must say that I was hoping he was wrong, that you hadn't abandoned the Tendos to seek out this Chinese…"

"If the next word out of your mouth is 'slut', 'whore', or anything along those lines, then Ranma's mother or not, I'm going to give you a slap that you'll feel for a week." Shampoo declared in a pleasantly threatening tone of voice, stepping to Ranma's side for moral support. Her speech would have been a bit more intimidating if she'd said it in Japanese rather then her native tongue, but Ranma knew enough to get her gist.

Nodoka cut off her former sentence, studying Shampoo intensely before starting a new line of conversation. "So, you are the gaijin who has seduced my son."

"Shampoo seduce nobody." She stated flatly. Then, she flashed a mischievous smile, wound her arms around Ranma's shoulders and began nuzzling her cheek against his. "Ranma seduce Shampoo." She continued in an appropriately playful, happy tone.

"Not helping, Shampoo." Ranma murmured

Nodoka looked embarrassed, disappointed, and a touch angry, beginning to toy with the wrappings of the bundle in her arm. "Are you telling me, my son, that you would do something so unmanly as to abandon the woman you were honor-bound to marry to run after another…?"

"No, I am not!" Ranma shot back, nervousness now sharing the seat more or less equally with anger. "Shampoo likes to joke about it, but it's a serious matter. It's a matter of honor that I marry her."

"Honor? Honor demands you wed a Tendo, Ranma." Nodoka replied icily.

"Pops made that vow, not me." Ranma said, the argument old, scarred and bitter. "And whatever honor he invested into that, he lost, not me."

Now, Nodoka looked uncertain of herself. "What are you…?" She began.

"Talk to him about it." Ranma interjected, Shampoo nodding her agreement at her side. "But my honor demands I wed Shampoo – an' hers says the same thing. This is my responsibility, and I'm taking it. Unless yer sayin' it's not manly to pay for yer own mistakes and make up for yer debts?" He continued, slipping into rougher speech as he tended to do when emotional.

Clearly flustered, Nodoka tried to regain her metaphorical footing. "I… I didn't…"

"Old man never said that I've got an honor tie to Shampoo, did he?" Ranma stated, the words clearly stabbing like spears into the vulnerable spots Nodoka had exposed.

"That right." Shampoo added. She still wasn't sure what precisely was going on, but she felt certain that she should support Ranma. "Ranma choose to challenge Shampoo; now laws of Joketsuzoku say we married. Shampoo want to marry Ranma, but also must marry, even if no want to. Shampoo just lucky enough to meet man she love, man what love her."

Nodoka looked at a loss for words, then took up a grim air. She unwrapped the bundle, revealing it as the ever-present sword she carried, lest she be called upon to act as the second in Ranma and Genma's seppuku ritual. "Ranma, my son, you know what must happen if you prove that Genma failed to make you a man among men…" She began, then stopped. This would be because Shampoo had, in a single movement, pulled out her own dao and stepped in front of Ranma, brandishing it so the point was aimed squarely at Nodoka's throat.

"You touch that sword, you get ready to fight." She warned the elder woman; familial respect was one thing, but she would not stand for _anybody_ threatening Ranma. She had defied her own great-grandmother to help Ranma. She had battled her own sisters-in-all-but-blood for Ranma's safety, a fight she would have fought to the death if must be. Ranma's mother this stranger might be, but if she dared to try and kill Ranma, then Shampoo would run her through without a second thought.

"Shampoo! That's my mom!" Ranma protested in shock.

"Shampoo not know what going on… not know why you come here or why you take old panda-fool's side when he already break honor by engaging Ranma to other girls on training trip…"

"He did _what?_" Nodoka exclaimed in shock.

"…You not know?" Shampoo asked, incredulous.

"My husband took my son from me over fourteen years ago." Nodoka began. "When he left, he made a vow that he would raise Ranma to be a man amongst men, or both of them would commit seppuku for his failure."

At that, Shampoo interjected. "You no see Ranma for all that time, then expect to just walk in here and demand he do whatever you want? How dare you!" She cried indignantly. In a sudden motion she lunged forward, using her blade to expertly flick the sheathed sword out of Nodoka's hands and into the air, snatching it up in her free hand and planting it firmly on the ground as the untrained would-be swordswoman cried out in dismay. "You no have business carrying this. You go now." Shampoo coldly decreed.

"…You would challenge me on this? For my son?" Nodoka asked quietly.

"Ranma is man what Shampoo love. Ranma is good, strong, noble man. Shampoo protect him with all Shampoo have, no matter who Shampoo must fight." The Chinese Amazon declared proudly, standing tall.

Nodoka looked thoughtful, but then left without further protest. Shampoo watched her go, feeling triumphant, though that gave way to alarm when Ranma promptly collapsed behind her. She shot to his side with a cry of dismay, finding him shaken, but physically unhurt.

"That… could most definitely have gone better." He muttered. "Could have gone worse, too, but… damn it, I didn't think th' old fool would be dumb enough to get her involved in this!"

"She really mean it? She really make you kill self if she not think you man enough?" Shampoo asked, now letting the horror she had felt at hearing those words sink in.

"Old man seems convinced of it, and he'd know her better than I would." Ranma stated flatly.

Shampoo had gotten to know well enough to tell that this was hurting him. She said nothing more, instead placing her arms around his shoulders, the sword that Nodoka had been carrying discarded on the floor.

_…Anyone else notice I don't seem to have Nodoka making very good first impressions with the girls I think would make better daughters-in-law? Anyway, hoped you enjoyed this little drabble._


	15. Chapter 15: Challenging Mousse

**A Chinese Connection**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form._

**Author's Notes:** It's been a while since this anthology was updated. Just haven't had the inspiration to do so, I guess. Nor to provide a good name. Ah, well.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Aeondefhaka's great Ranma/Shampoo fanfic, "Dream of the Earthbound", which sadly seems to have been cancelled before it's time.  
I guess you could call this my rebuttal to the idea of Mousse/Shampoo in general, whether or not I'm pairing Ranma and Shampoo together or not. I tried to make this into an actual oneshot and not just an author's tract, but I can only hope I came close to success.

Challenging Mousse

In a lonely grove in the wilderness outside of Nerima, two figures stood. Well, one stood; the other was down on his hands and knees, his whole body shaking as he tried to suck air back into his lungs. While the standing figure wasn't exactly mint fresh himself, clearly tired out, he was still in much better shape than the kneeling figure. Stretching his limbs so that they cracked, the sound echoing like gunshots in this desolate place, he resumed a fighting stance even as he spoke.

"Alright, Mousse; you ready to listen yet?" Ranma asked, sternly. He had just spent something along the lines of a better part of an hour beating Mousse into a state that would be "pliable" – where he would be forced to listen to what Ranma had to say and conscious enough that he could actually think on it, while still not being in any position where he could be some kind of threat to Ranma. As a result, the fight had been harder than any previous match he'd ever had with Mousse, and it showed on the landscape. Trees had been hacked or smashed down, boulders shattered, the very earth torn up, and the myriad contents of Mousse's arsenal were scattered all over the place – Mousse's shirt itself, torn and shredded, had been impaled on a denuded branch and now flapped over the dismal scene like a mournful flag.

Taking an idle look at a tree with seventeen different daggers and swords in it, some of them punching all the way through, Ranma made sure to send a silent prayer up to any kami that may be listening in gratitude for ensuring he thought to handle this outside of Nerima proper.

"D-damn you, Ranma… Shampoo is not yours…" Mousse said, half sob, half choke, grief and rage and despair and hate and sheer lust for air all twisting and tumbling in his throat.

"Like you've got any say in the matter." Ranma declared flatly. "And if that's the way you've been thinking about this all these years, no wonder she don't like you." He added. To be honest, it wasn't really pleasant to him to be this cruel; he could be insensitive, but deliberate malice wasn't his style at all. But Shampoo and Cologne had both made it clear to him that sympathy for Mousse was just as bad as simply ignoring him, if not worse. It was time to end this, once and for all; Mousse had been obnoxious enough when Ranma had recoiled from Shampoo, but now… now…

Mousse gave a strangled cry of hate, hand lunging for a dagger that had been close and which Ranma evidently hadn't noticed… only for it to become a cry of pain as Ranma shot across the intervening space like a rocket, his heel crashing down on Mousse's knuckles before he could curl his fingers around the dagger's hilt, whereupon Ranma's other foot came whirling around and slammed into Mousse's side like a thunderbolt. That was the unmistakable sound of a rib breaking, though Mousse was uncertain if Ranma had just broken one of his bones or if the blow had merely hit a rib already cracked and weakened by their battle. Nor was he in any position to care, fire burning deep within his side as the blow sent him rolling over and over until he came to rest in an agonized sprawl on his back, gasping and whimpering with pain.

"I need you alive and I need you conscious, bird-brain. Anything else is gravy." Ranma told him, though his voice cracked with instinctive horror at what he had done. That was crueler than he'd had any intention of being. Luckily for him, Mousse was in no condition to take advantage of his moment of weakness, even if he had noticed it.

"You don't deserve her." Mousse whimpered, gritting his teeth against the pain.

"You're right, I don't." Ranma agreed cheerfully. "I was cruel to her, I was stupid, I was selfish, I was blind, and I was a lot of other nasty things too – but none of that matters. What I deserve in general don't matter. What matters is what she wants, and though I don't know why, she. _Wants_. **Me**. She wanted me then, she wants me now, and she sure as shootin' don't want _**you**_."

Mousse groaned, and, despite himself, Ranma slipped close enough that he could hit a few pain-numbing pressure points; skipping away the instant he'd tagged them. Unphased, Ranma continued. "But maybe I'm wrong." He declared. "If you can prove that this obsession of yours isn't baseless, that Shampoo really does love you the way you claim she does, then I'll step aside and give you both my blessing. You have my word as a man, a martial artist, and a Saotome."

For a moment, Mousse was tempted to call Ranma's word worthless. He didn't, though. That was an insult of such magnitude that even he would hesitate to throw it around, and seeing what Ranma had already done to him, he was honestly afraid of risking it. Finally, he nodded and bit out. "Alright, Saotome, you have a deal… but what are the terms if I lose?"

"If you lose… you are going to give up this mad crush on Shampoo, once and for all, on the same oath I just swore – and I mean on your honor as a man, as a martial artist, and as a member of your family, so don't get cute!" He snapped this last part, thankful that he'd remembered what Cologne had said. "In the event you can't prove that Shampoo loves you, you are going to leave this here arena and you are going to get your **life** in order! Make someone of yourself, someone more than just Shampoo's stupid blind stalker!" Ranma insisted.

Mousse didn't know he had the blood left in him to turn purple with rage, but he evidently did. Finally, he managed to swallow the barbed lump in his throat. "…Alright. I accept your terms. Well, for starters, ever heard the phrase 'actions speak louder than words'? Well, if I just keep trying, if I just have a little more time, then I'll prove how good I am, and Shampoo will be able to admit she loves me, not just show it."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I heard it. So what? Since when has Shampoo **ever** been the type to shy away from saying what she's felt? You've known her thirteen years, and you can honestly say that she doesn't with a straight face? Do you even know who Shampoo **is**? And then there's the actions part of that… even if she **was** the type to let her actions speak for her, when has she ever shown you anything other than disdain and derogation, huh?" He demanded.

"What about when I lost that duel to you? Or when I saved her from Toristan?" Mousse countered.

"You just got your ass kicked so badly you looked half-dead. If I had been in Shampoo's place, **I** would have taken you for medical attention and tried to help you get better – and I sure as hell don't love you!"

"I should hope not, you sick pervert!" Mousse snapped in genuine disgust.

"There ain't no kindness she's ever shown you that isn't either the same sort of thing anybody who wasn't pure evil would have shown you, or had its own sting in the tail." Ranma stated coldly. "Remember that time you made that big speech about going home to China? You talked a pretty talk, but that's all it was – talk! All the time, you were looking for an excuse to say, some small glimmer of her caring… you never found anything, did you?"

"She made that feast for me!" Mousse protested, half-rising before the pain of his injuries sent him crashing back to the broken sod.

"Yeah, because they knew you were still in the neighborhood and they knew you'd watch the shop for free if they did – real sign of affection there." Ranma said, fighting hard to keep it from sounding like he was jeering Mousse.

"And then there was that incident with Maomolin." Ranma continued. "Let's see… from the beginning, she was adamant that only the man who she loved would be able to cure her with a kiss – and she was adamant that **I** was that man! She rejected you with words and blows every time you got near her – even when she was on the verge of losing her humanity, she was still insisting that your kiss wasn't going to cut it! To make things worse, you actually tried to **stop** me from kissing her! If she hadn't managed to squeeze through the bars and kiss me before that last bell toll, she'd be Maomolin's kitty-bride right now!" He thundered, a wrathful expression on his face. To be trapped in cursed form for all time… **no**body deserved that kind of fate!

"But! I!" Mousse spat, clearly wracking his brains to think of something more to say.

"Face it, man. You've gotten more real, meaningful sympathy and affection from Akane Tendo than you ever have from Shampoo." Ranma interjected.

"It's… It's all that old ghoul's fault!" Mousse protested. "Shampoo can't disobey her, and she just wants you because you're the strongest martial artist around – if there was somebody stronger…"

"Oh, yes, it's Cologne's fault, however could it not be?" Ranma mocked – and this time, he wasn't bothering trying to hide his jeers. "That's clearly why she taught me the Hiryu Shoten Ha. She had the perfect excuse to drop me like a side of maggoty beef – she had all the reason to do it, too. Not only was I weaker than a baby, I'd fought her and cursed her and challenged her ever since she showed up in Japan! I'd done all but spit in her eye by that point! And she still chose to help me when I was at my lowest, even though she could have taken it as the perfect excuse to leave and find somebody else. Hell, she could have cut my head off after turning me into a girl, simply because I wouldn't be able to fight her and to ensure that there would be no stain on Shampoo's honor. And you know what she did? She took me in, she gave me a move passed down for generations through the Joketsuzoku, and she did everything she possibly could to help me get my strength back!"

Mousse muttered and moaned, clearly wracking his brains, desperate to think of something, but Ranma continued on, mercilessly.

"As for Shampoo only doing what Cologne says… so that's why, when she first found out about my curse, despite thinking that I was only a girl and I had betrayed and humiliated her, despite there not being any Cologne around, she turned and left with tears in her eyes, unable to hurt me? That's why she told me that Cologne had a cure to the Full Body Cat's Tongue, when she could have just left me to suffer under the move until I gave in and became her husband? That's why, when I asked her to help me fight her own great-grandmother, in a battle that would free me from the Full Body Cat's Tongue if I won, she agreed and gave her all to help me win?" Ranma shot back, Mousse convulsing as if each sentence was a bullet slamming home into his body.

"Thirteen years, man. Thirteen long years before I ever darkened the front gates of your little village! You grew up together, you flirted and bowed and scraped and primped and posed and begged and wept and otherwise did everything you could to prove your love to her… all for nothing! If Shampoo felt anything for you, any single scrap of love or desire, she'd have told you by now! I am – I **was** – nothing more than a scapegoat, somebody you could point to and say 'oh, it's not my fault she doesn't love me, it's his'! Well, not anymore! You had your chance, you've made your toss, and you. _Have_. **Lost**!" Ranma thundered, aura burning and finger pointing ominously down at the prone Mousse like a god delivering final judgment to a sinner.

Mousse said nothing, he could say nothing. Instead, he lay there, tears pouring from his eyes, eyes that burned yet with hate and pain and frustration. Finally, sensing what Ranma was waiting for, knowing in his heart that Ranma would wait until doomsday if he had to, he took a deep breath and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Fine! You win! I admit it! Leave me alone!"

As his former rival broke down in sobbing, Ranma sighed like a deflated balloon, his shoulders slumping. He had never known he had it in him to be so cruel… it was disgusting. Withdrawing a bag of medical supplies from one of his own ki pockets, he approached Mousse, who turned a burning eye in his direction.

"You are scum, Ranma Saotome." He stated flatly, hate dripping from each syllable.

"Maybe so." Ranma conceded. "But if our positions were reversed, would you be so generous?" He asked, dumping the bag within reach of the battered boy. With that, he turned on his heel and headed the long way back towards town; he wanted a long, hot shower and to forget that this day had ever happened.


End file.
